muu
If I was gone, If I had just disappeared
- Jul 27, 2025
- 149
this is just gonna be a general post judt me ranting about my plans and such
if my physical condition doesn't start improving at least slightly by the middle to end of august i'll probably decide to CTB then. i'll have to figure out a method which is a lot of work auueueueueu
i might try and CTB using propranolol since even a smallish dose can make me feel pre-syncope (close to passing out) and my heart rate reacts really well to it. i've been stockpiling very slowly for months now, and i have around 2 grams in my stockpile and 2 grams in the bottle still since i just got a refill. i have metoclopramide from a previous doctor and even tho im EXTREMELY scared of vomiting it's a pretty good possible method in my opinion considering im already pretty sickly.
my other "plan" (loosely used) is partial hanging but i just started to think about that one. so. if i go through with that one it's probably just gonna be the struggle of finding a ligature and then finding a spot
august is gonna be a busy month for me, i have a concert on the 2nd, so i'm excited for that. i hope i'm low on symptoms that day so i can enjoy it.
i have a doctor's visit tomorrow for LDN to possibly help with one of my chronic conditions, so that's why i am thinking about the "if i feel better" part. i just wanna feel somewhat normal again:-/
if my physical condition doesn't start improving at least slightly by the middle to end of august i'll probably decide to CTB then. i'll have to figure out a method which is a lot of work auueueueueu
i might try and CTB using propranolol since even a smallish dose can make me feel pre-syncope (close to passing out) and my heart rate reacts really well to it. i've been stockpiling very slowly for months now, and i have around 2 grams in my stockpile and 2 grams in the bottle still since i just got a refill. i have metoclopramide from a previous doctor and even tho im EXTREMELY scared of vomiting it's a pretty good possible method in my opinion considering im already pretty sickly.
my other "plan" (loosely used) is partial hanging but i just started to think about that one. so. if i go through with that one it's probably just gonna be the struggle of finding a ligature and then finding a spot
august is gonna be a busy month for me, i have a concert on the 2nd, so i'm excited for that. i hope i'm low on symptoms that day so i can enjoy it.
i have a doctor's visit tomorrow for LDN to possibly help with one of my chronic conditions, so that's why i am thinking about the "if i feel better" part. i just wanna feel somewhat normal again:-/
