Method my attempt for tonight

[lymbo]

I take some meds but things like this run in my family. I'm having headaches, blurred vision, etc. I don't mean it's going to happen tomorrow, but sooner or later. Also, in the past year, I've developed something called Peripheral Neuropathy. Basically, the nerves in my spinal cord are not communicating correctly with my feet! No cure. I was an athlete most of my life, also hiking, climbing, camping, etc., but now I can only walk for a limited distance and time. Eventually going to be in a wheelchair. So, before either of these things happen and I'd have a very tough time acting by myself for myself, I'm going to do something now.

I just joined this forum a few days ago after coming across a mention of it somewhere else. I'm in my "ctb research" stage, and I'm hoping to find some good info here. Presently reading through all the method mega-threads on the List of Resources forum.

where are u from

 

[itistimetoleave]

Are you still here?

 

[Not_Quite_Dead_Yet]

Life can often get better for young and healthy people. They can move, have adventures, overcome sadness, as long as they are not sick. But there is no cure for old age, its all downhill from there no matter how good your life was until then.

You got that right, for sure. 70 was the absolute turning point for me. And the downhill slide seems to accelerate with each passing year.

 

[fightingsioux]

where are u from

U.S., a large city in the midwest.

 

[lymbo]

U.S., a large city in the midwest.

hope u flnd peace, lm dealyng wyh cronlc back payn from hernyated dysk

 

[coma-baby]

I had no idea how many people here were over the hill. I can't imagine living and suffering for that long.
I've been suicidal since I was about four years old. Maybe younger. 17+ years of this has been unbearable. I can't imagine making it another 60 or so.
You guys really are troopers.

 

[WhiteDespair]

I had no idea how many people here were over the hill. I can't imagine living and suffering for that long.
I've been suicidal since I was about four years old. Maybe younger. 17+ years of this has been unbearable. I can't imagine making it another 60 or so.
You guys really are troopers.

How can you want to CtB at 4 years old? I believe you. I just don't understand.

For many years I thought that I would be dead within that year. That didn't happen. That could be a way one gets to that age. Another way is that they got to that age and then circumstances caused them to want to CtB. I don't know how people can do it as well. Future planning is an alien concept.

 

[coma-baby]

How can you want to CtB at 4 years old? I believe you. I just don't understand.

For many years I thought that I would be dead within that year. That didn't happen. That could be a way one gets to that age. Another way is that they got to that age and then circumstances caused them to want to CtB. I don't know how people can do it as well. Future planning is an alien concept.

I don't think I knew entirely what death was. I just knew I didn't want to exist.
As a toddler, I tried smothering myself often. SI always kicked in (obviously).

I understand that now. I've been telling myself I would finally get the strength to ctb for years. I'm hoping I'll finally get the courage to make a real attempt that has good odds or that I'll start to get better. Whichever comes first, I'll take.

 

[WhiteDespair]

I don't think I knew entirely what death was. I just knew I didn't want to exist.
As a toddler, I tried smothering myself often. SI always kicked in (obviously).

I understand that now. I've been telling myself I would finally get the strength to ctb for years. I'm hoping I'll finally get the courage to make a real attempt that has good odds or that I'll start to get better. Whichever comes first, I'll take.

I did not know that 4 year olds would think/feel like that. I guess they're picking up cues from the environment and broadcasting them back.

Edited: @coma-baby thank you for the answer.

 

[takeyourshotfunboy]

Young and healthy people (including free of mental diseases) should not kill themselves. The right time to despair is around 45 years old.

¨Your mental illness is not valid unless you are at least 45¨ lmao

 

[Corraled]

¨Your mental illness is not valid unless you are at least 45¨ lmao

I said young and healthy people should not kill themselves.

 

[itistimetoleave]

I said young and healthy people should not kill themselves.

Only old people or people with chronic illness do?

 

[Corraled]

Only old people or people with chronic illness do?

This is a situation where the exception proves the rule. Old or sick, or old and sick, covers 99% of "justifiable" cases. Mental problems are diseases too, if we go by the formal definition of disease. A lot of teenagers want to kill themselves over bad grades or unrequited love or mild depression. Poverty should not be a reason to kill yourself unless it is so serious that it will make you sick or kill you anyway.