825hp
•v•
- Apr 2, 2023
- 21
8:07 20/8/26 i almost just killed myself
i am miserable right now
i went in the spare room, put my blue and white belt around my neck, jammed the end of the belt in the top of the door and closed it all the way, and relaxed my body.
the belt pushed against my neck, my carotid artery buckling under the pressure of my body weight, i felt the tingles you get when you cut off blood flow to the brain, next would have been my vision turning black but i snapped out of it and pulled the door open.
survival instincts fucking suck, i wish carbon monoxide methods weren't so tedious to set up... i would have probably already used it if it wasn't so.
i have the urge to go try again, feel that feeling again– the rush of adrenaline when you can feel it working. i never thought i would have made it this far anyway.
i cant do that to mum though, i couldn't bare to imagine her reaction to seeing me dead on the floor...
i was listening to goodmourning - midwest post death.
i am miserable right now
i went in the spare room, put my blue and white belt around my neck, jammed the end of the belt in the top of the door and closed it all the way, and relaxed my body.
the belt pushed against my neck, my carotid artery buckling under the pressure of my body weight, i felt the tingles you get when you cut off blood flow to the brain, next would have been my vision turning black but i snapped out of it and pulled the door open.
survival instincts fucking suck, i wish carbon monoxide methods weren't so tedious to set up... i would have probably already used it if it wasn't so.
i have the urge to go try again, feel that feeling again– the rush of adrenaline when you can feel it working. i never thought i would have made it this far anyway.
i cant do that to mum though, i couldn't bare to imagine her reaction to seeing me dead on the floor...
i was listening to goodmourning - midwest post death.
