Venting mum told me to kill myself

[purplehearted]

Ive had multiple instances where family says they love me and they will always be a support for me when needed. When issues arise or I need support and I call for help, nobody is there, and Im left dead in the water as I drift further and further away. Being told "I love you" hurts 100x more knowing they are just words having no type of action to support it.

I'm so sorry. That's so painful and really does make someone feel like a burden. I'm here for you

Those outbursts are a part of a cycle. The same thing happens with domestic violence. There's a cycle of attack, then apology, then waiting for the next attack. Leaving tends to be the only option.

I know it is confusing. This is because narcissistic parenting is all about the parent, whereas proper parenting is about caring for the young person. It's a profound sickness. You have to learn to make your life about you, not about her - a radical shift. If you can leave, I feel that you should.

In relationships, you will need guidance to avoid creating more narcissistic patterns, because right now it's all you know. There are good people out there, though. You are worthy of real love and proper, consistent care. You have a right to be here. This is a message that you need to have drummed into you.

She kicked me out, and i'm doing a lot better now. The way she did it was so cruel and cold, she sent a text saying she didn't want me, her friend is moving into my room and she wants all my things gone. It really is painful hearing all of that. Thank you for this reply, it really helped me get some clarity on her behaviour. I've decided to CTB as soon as I can, as there's only so much trauma and pain a person can take.

 

[MidnightDream]

Respectfully, your mum sounds like a knob.
Please don't let her shitty opinions influence you.
If you're set on CTB, make sure you're doing it for you, for your inner peace. Fuck her and her noise.

 

[purplehearted]

Respectfully, your mum sounds like a knob.
Please don't let her shitty opinions influence you.
If you're set on CTB, make sure you're doing it for you, for your inner peace. Fuck her and her noise.

I'm doing it for myself, to finally feel at peace and not have to deal with the daily pain and anxiety from trauma i've experienced throughout my life. It's not only because of her, although the things she has put me through contributed to my SI.

 

[Pluto]

I'm doing it for myself, to finally feel at peace and not have to deal with the daily pain and anxiety from trauma i've experienced throughout my life. It's not only because of her, although the things she has put me through contributed to my SI.

Your choice will always be respected, but I'm saddened that it's come to this. I know the horrors of Dark Triad parenting, trauma, brainwashing and religious child abuse. I've known some who recovered by surrounding themselves with decent people, including an ex-Jehovah's Witness who went through unspeakable horrors throughout her youth. I'm here if you ever want to chat.

 

[never mind me]

Wow, your mother sounds like a horrible person! It's probably a good thing you don't live there any more, I hope you have a safe place where you can live. To be honest I think it's close to impossible to recover from this kind of narcissistic parenting while still living with these people. You first need to find a place where you are safe in order to understand that not all people treat you in such a terrible way as your mother did. So maybe at least give yourself some time to try to recover while not living with your mother any more and not having contact with her. I don't know you, but I think for many who feel suicidal due to growing up/living with shitty parents (or partners in some cases) things improve after not being in contact with these persons any more.

 

[makethepainstop]

She got pregnant with me at 21 and since she is religiously against abortion she chose to keep me. And now she hates me because i chose to leave this stupid fucking religion that she used to inflict so much pain onto me.

Your mother has been subjected to religious mania programming. Many if not most religious groups use gentle brain washing techniques to get you into their brand of religious belief. Over time their control tightens over the new members of their noxious religious cult. After a few years,(sometimes just months in some especially vile cults), the members cannot even think normally. Every thought they have is tainted by religious programing, grooming, and adhesion to their cults teachings. So your dear momma was probably supposed to raise you as a pious devotee of her religion. When you,(quite correctly and rightly), rejected that BS, you became an embarrassment to her. She was supposed to deliver a freshly programed new member to the "church". When you told the church to get bent, it reduced your mom's status with the other religious nutcases in her church. If you look at most "religious" leaders, they are men who without their religious scams, would be working at Walmart or McDonald's. Those types want three things that are not even remotely connected to, "religious enlightenment", that is to say, easy money, recognition, and power over others. So quite frankly she is not hating you, but hating that the religious programming she quite happily received, didn't work on you. Much love and sympathy to you. No one should place their religious mania, above their kids and family.

 

[purplehearted]

Wow, your mother sounds like a horrible person! It's probably a good thing you don't live there any more, I hope you have a safe place where you can live. To be honest I think it's close to impossible to recover from this kind of narcissistic parenting while still living with these people. You first need to find a place where you are safe in order to understand that not all people treat you in such a terrible way as your mother did. So maybe at least give yourself some time to try to recover while not living with your mother any more and not having contact with her. I don't know you, but I think for many who feel suicidal due to growing up/living with shitty parents (or partners in some cases) things improve after not being in contact with these persons any more.

Thankfully i have a safe place where i can live, with people who care about me. There's kids in the house and i've been spending a lot of time with them which has been helping immensely. But i'm still so sad because my little brother (10 years old) is visiting and he is staying with my mum, and she is making it impossible for me to see him. I love him dearly, and he's leaving in 2 days and being away from him feels like torture bc we have such a strong bond. I called him yesterday and he just cried because he thought it's his fault (we visited a theme park the day my mum blew up at me and he didn't want to go on a scary rollercoaster and my mum started blaming me and my cousin, that's where this all started). I feel so awful that he is going through this as well. I'm in a positive environment but still feel deeply suicidal bc of the trauma and pain, i see it as the only way out of this hell

Your mother has been subjected to religious mania programming. Many if not most religious groups use gentle brain washing techniques to get you into their brand of religious belief. Over time their control tightens over the new members of their noxious religious cult. After a few years,(sometimes just months in some especially vile cults), the members cannot even think normally. Every thought they have is tainted by religious programing, grooming, and adhesion to their cults teachings. So your dear momma was probably supposed to raise you as a pious devotee of her religion. When you,(quite correctly and rightly), rejected that BS, you became an embarrassment to her. She was supposed to deliver a freshly programed new member to the "church". When you told the church to get bent, it reduced your mom's status with the other religious nutcases in her church. If you look at most "religious" leaders, they are men who without their religious scams, would be working at Walmart or McDonald's. Those types want three things that are not even remotely connected to, "religious enlightenment", that is to say, easy money, recognition, and power over others. So quite frankly she is not hating you, but hating that the religious programming she quite happily received, didn't work on you. Much love and sympathy to you. No one should place their religious mania, above their kids and family.

It's honestly so vile. She forced me to go to a religious school for most of my life and I lost all of my academic knowledge because of that. I begged her to let me go to a normal school because i wasn't learning anything at the brainwashing school and once i changed i struggled so much, but i caught up and miraculously graduated and now i'm putting myself through an engineering degree. She's sent me to high school with bruises all over my face arms and back, beating me up because i didn't pray. Why would i stay in the religion that has caused me so much pain? Thank you for the well wishes

 

[UtopianElephant]

This is unfortunate, she seems to not be mature or compassionate enough to be a good parent. It seems that you might be a better "parent" to her than the other way around.

Try not to cause her needless suffering with anything you do, but don't let her gaslight and manipulate you when it comes to your well-formed personal choices and views. Take all the time and space to detach from her and process your thoughts.