Venting Mum said it would be ‘unforgivable’ to find a person hanging

[inmyhead]

I have been very suicidal recently and took an OD two weeks ago which failed (propranolol). I don't have enough propranolol left to take another OD as I accidentally ordered SR tablets. So I'm sitting with about 25g of 80mg propranolol SR that I can't use.

The other method I considered was partial hanging. I've been looking on this forum for days getting as much info as I can. 2 people in my area hanged themselves successfully in the last year. One was only a month ago, I was speaking to my mum about how the persons mother was the one that found them and she said it was 'unforgivable' to let your mum be the one who found you.

I totally agree usually, but I am pretty desperate and live in a remote place… I can't go to a hotel room. My only option is my bedroom and I hate the idea that she will be angry with me for letting her be the one that found me.

Just needed to get it out.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can totally understand her perspective. It would be horrific for most any mother to find their child hanging by a rope, or dead from any method of suicide, really. She'll have that image in her head for the rest of her life.

 

[Vizzy]

I have been very suicidal recently and took an OD two weeks ago which failed (propranolol). I don't have enough propranolol left to take another OD as I accidentally ordered SR tablets. So I'm sitting with about 25g of 80mg propranolol SR that I can't use.

The other method I considered was partial hanging. I've been looking on this forum for days getting as much info as I can. 2 people in my area hanged themselves successfully in the last year. One was only a month ago, I was speaking to my mum about how the persons mother was the one that found them and she said it was 'unforgivable' to let your mum be the one who found you.

I totally agree usually, but I am pretty desperate and live in a remote place… I can't go to a hotel room. My only option is my bedroom and I hate the idea that she will be angry with me for letting her be the one that found me.

Just needed to get it out.

I can understand but you need a comfortable place to do your thing

After you are gone nothing your mother can do, even if she is angry

Just don't overthink, do as you like

Looking at a person who is hanging is ain't that bad, if you were found soon!

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Looking at a person who is hanging is ain't that bad, if you were found soon!

It is for a parent, the one who created you, especially the mother, who carried you in her womb for 9 months. At least for most normal parents.

 

[inmyhead]

I can understand but you need a comfortable place to do your thing

After you are gone nothing your mother can do, even if she is angry

Just don't overthink, do as you like

Looking at a person who is hanging is ain't that bad, if you were found soon!

I do have to admit that has been in my head. That I won't be here to deal with those consequences. I do know of a person who hanged themselves and left a note on the door saying not to enter and to call the police. But I don't think anyone is going to listen to that they'll come in if they think they can do something.

It is for a parent, the one who created you, especially the mother, who carried you in her womb for 9 months. At least for most normal parents.

Yeah I can imagine it would be very traumatising.

 

[Vizzy]

It is for a parent, the one who created you, especially the mother, who carried you in her womb for 9 months. At least for most normal parents.

They will be fine, don't carry me in the womb if you can't give me a good life after I was born and I didn't ask them to be created

That's life sometimes it is painful!

 

[inmyhead]

They will be fine, don't carry me in the womb if you can't give me a good life after I was born and I didn't ask them to be created

That's life sometimes it is painful!

To be fair my mum and I are very close, she has given me a good life. The best she could anyway. But I just don't think I can hang on just for her.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

They will be fine, don't carry me in the womb if you can't give me a good life after I was born and I didn't ask them to be created

That's life sometimes it is painful!

I said for "At least for most normal parents", which equates to good parents. Sorry you didn't have that in your life.

 

[Vizzy]

To be fair my mum and I are very close, she has given me a good life. The best she could anyway. But I just don't think I can hang on just for her.

Hopefully you find peace, I am not talking about your mom, I am just saying in general

 

[inmyhead]

Hopefully you find peace, I am not talking about your mom, I am just saying in general

Thank you. I hope you find peace too, however it is.

 

[TheDog_]

It would be painful, but not unforgivable. Many people who face having had a loved one die by suicide often do experience anger, but said anger shifts to sadness and often compassion. Reading many experiences of people who did lose someone to self-inflicted death makes me believe that the initial anger often goes away when the person comes to terms that their loved one was in genuine pain. Everyone reacts differently. Some people are never angry, simply saddened. Some are understanding. Suicide and the aftermath is never the same for everyone.

 

[unnormal9]

It is for a parent, the one who created you, especially the mother, who carried you in her womb for 9 months. At least for most normal parents.

No one told the stupid bitch to get knocked up in the first place. Making another suffer, hence, the hanging happens.
The honorable thing to have done was get an abortion. Kill it outright. Or It's cycle of pain continues.

 

[Dot]

They will be fine, don't carry me in the womb if you can't give me a good life after I was born and I didn't ask them to be created

That's life sometimes it is painful!

Slf knw a persn wh/ dscovrd thr son hangng - on xmas dy of all dys

H/ hs bn in trma therpy evr snce

Sayng 'thy wll b fne' mkes assumptns tht no1 hs th/ answr 2

No one told the stupid bitch to get knocked up in the first place.

Harsh tbf

 

[FuneralCry]

I get that it offends pro-suffering people but many people in this world just want to die and they are denied the option to drink Nembutal and fall into an eternal sleep. Instead the "unforgivable" thing is how more peaceful methods and legalised assisted suicide continues to not be an option, so people have no choice but to resort to methods like hanging. And anyway we all have to die somewhere, someday and suicide is a decision in which people have every right to make, if people don't wish to deal with loss then they shouldn't so selfishly decide to procreate in the first place, those who complain about hanging suicides like that are seriously insensitive and lack compassion.

 

[CentreMid]

I have been very suicidal recently and took an OD two weeks ago which failed (propranolol). I don't have enough propranolol left to take another OD as I accidentally ordered SR tablets. So I'm sitting with about 25g of 80mg propranolol SR that I can't use.

The other method I considered was partial hanging. I've been looking on this forum for days getting as much info as I can. 2 people in my area hanged themselves successfully in the last year. One was only a month ago, I was speaking to my mum about how the persons mother was the one that found them and she said it was 'unforgivable' to let your mum be the one who found you.

I totally agree usually, but I am pretty desperate and live in a remote place… I can't go to a hotel room. My only option is my bedroom and I hate the idea that she will be angry with me for letting her be the one that found me.

Just needed to get it out.

I disagree with what your mom said. I think that finding one's child after they've died by suicide is merely a consequence for their actions (or lack thereof). We didn't ask to be born, yet they still brought us into this world after all.

Of course, I won't disagree that it may be painful for the parent in the moment, but they'll have to come to terms with the fact that, their child was clearly suffering, at some point, and that the child is no longer in pain because of the suicide (I say "child", but I really just mean "offspring", not actual children in this case, but "offspring" just sounds weird, so I will say "child").

 

[inmyhead]

I disagree with what your mom said. I think that finding one's child after they've died by suicide is merely a consequence for their actions (or lack thereof). We didn't ask to be born, yet they still brought us into this world after all.

Of course, I won't disagree that it may be painful for the parent in the moment, but they'll have to come to terms with the fact that, their child was clearly suffering, at some point, and that the child is no longer in pain because of the suicide (I say "child", but I really just mean "offspring", not actual children in this case, but "offspring" just sounds weird, so I will say "child").

Yeah I think I am going to leave her a note apologising and explaining my reasons. I hope it provides her with comfort once I'm gone. I intend to do the same for everyone who I care about.

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

Why can't you go to a hotel room? I do think letting your mother find you should be the very last resort since you say you are close and she's done her best by you.

 

[SilentSadness]

While I agree that it would be traumatic and unfair to be surprised by someone's corpse, I wouldn't place the fault at the person who hung themselves. As most suicide methods are brutally restricted by this society, it's not like anyone really has an option for a peaceful method. To suggest what they did is "unforgivable" is just insensitive to me.

 

[inmyhead]

Why can't you go to a hotel room? I do think letting your mother find you should be the very last resort since you say you are close and she's done her best by you.

I live in a really remote area with limited hotels…. and they are all booked up for summer. My alternative is spend a lot of money to fly south to a city where I could book a hotel there.

While I agree that it would be traumatic and unfair to be surprised by someone's corpse, I wouldn't place the fault at the person who hung themselves. As most suicide methods are brutally restricted by this society, it's not like anyone really has an option for a peaceful method. To suggest what they did is "unforgivable" is just insensitive to me.

Thank you for your thoughts. I completely agree.

 

[unnormal9]

Slf knw a persn wh/ dscovrd thr son hangng - on xmas dy of all dys

H/ hs bn in trma therpy evr snce

Sayng 'thy wll b fne' mkes assumptns tht no1 hs th/ answr 2



Harsh tbf

Sorry, Dot. Being told I should be aborted stuck with me forever.