most likely going to relapse tonight

[puppyboy]

unfortunately i had the craziest urge to go through her tweets and see what's up. it's all full of her boyfriend god kill me just kill me!!!! they're over here being cutesy while i'm here wanting to blow my fucking brains out. she deleted most of her tweets about me and my heart broke into a million more pieces. i'm just gonna start cutting myself again cuz i cant do this shit anymore. who cares about getting sober from drugs or being clean from self harm anymore. there's no one waiting for me. hell i think i might even try to kill myself after i see my friend on friday. hopefully it works

 

[Aknu132]

Calm down man, stop seeing her things, this is just temporary, you will get better, you deserve someone better, please take care of yourself, don't do anything on impulse, don't hurt yourself more man, please.

 

[RustedandWeathered]

unfortunately i had the craziest urge to go through her tweets and see what's up. it's all full of her boyfriend god kill me just kill me!!!! they're over here being cutesy while i'm here wanting to blow my fucking brains out. she deleted most of her tweets about me and my heart broke into a million more pieces. i'm just gonna start cutting myself again cuz i cant do this shit anymore. who cares about getting sober from drugs or being clean from self harm anymore. there's no one waiting for me. hell i think i might even try to kill myself after i see my friend on friday. hopefully it works

Why do you wanna cut yourself? I mainly do it to feel something other than the overwhelming pain in my head

 

[puppyboy]

update: sorry to disappoint. i did end up cutting myself, i couldn't take it anymore. honestly i'm scared of myself now that i relapsed b/c it was really tempting to just keep going. i couldn't feel anything, i felt numb on the inside and outside. i took a xanax after so i feel okayish for now. i know that when i wake up ill feel like shit again though

i wish i could cut on my arms but both are covered in big gnarly scars so its kind of hard.

Why do you wanna cut yourself? I mainly do it to feel something other than the overwhelming pain in my head

the pain and seeing my blood is comforting. it shuts my brain off for a bit so i don't have to think abt things that make me severely depressed

 

[RustedandWeathered]

the pain and seeing my blood is comforting. it shuts my brain off for a bit so i don't have to think abt things that make me severely depressed

Honestly same for me with the blood thing. If it doesn't bleed then I just do it deeper. By the way if you need to talk about anything I'm here <3