Help More of a burden dead than alive

[=^ه`ه^=]

I want to CTB, attempted unsuccessfully a few times
I want to try again..hopefully for the last time..

But, i have an kinda old sick parent i have to watch after, they can partly manage themselves for now, it probably will get worse later.

Do i do it and let them manage it somehow?
Should i rethink that?
Is there something i missed?

I would like to hear some thoughts from a different perspective im a little lost

 

[Forever Sleep]

My parents are starting to struggle but, they can still manage. They also chose to move hundreds of miles away to retire- which complicates things.

I have a similar problem though, I'm not dependent on them and I don't think my Dad would cope with my suicide. So, in my case also- my death would feel more of a burden I imagine, than my life.

Ultimately, I guess it comes down to how much more you think you can cope with. I'm hoping to hold on until my Dad goes first. My step Mum has her own children plus, there have been problems with all of them that caused my ideation to begin with. So, once my Dad is gone, my loyalty/ obligation to life will be too.

I think it really does hinge on what we're going through though and, what we feel able to manage. I'm not so sure I'd be willing to hold on if my situation got a lot worse. I suppose a part of me thinks at least they would inherit some money to buy care.

It's an odd feeling though. I do feel obliged to stay. I also emotionally don't want to hurt them. Still, I simultaneously resent having been born and put in this situation in the first place. As a general action, I think it's terribly unfair to burden us with this level of responsibility and guilt that we can't in fact follow our own interests over theirs.

 

[=^ه`ه^=]

My parents are starting to struggle but, they can still manage. They also chose to move hundreds of miles away to retire- which complicates things.

I have a similar problem though, I'm not dependent on them and I don't think my Dad would cope with my suicide. So, in my case also- my death would feel more of a burden I imagine, than my life.

Ultimately, I guess it comes down to how much more you think you can cope with. I'm hoping to hold on until my Dad goes first. My step Mum has her own children plus, there have been problems with all of them that caused my ideation to begin with. So, once my Dad is gone, my loyalty/ obligation to life will be too.

I think it really does hinge on what we're going through though and, what we feel able to manage. I'm not so sure I'd be willing to hold on if my situation got a lot worse. I suppose a part of me thinks at least they would inherit some money to buy care.

It's an odd feeling though. I do feel obliged to stay. I also emotionally don't want to hurt them. Still, I simultaneously resent having been born and put in this situation in the first place. As a general action, I think it's terribly unfair to burden us with this level of responsibility and guilt that we can't in fact follow our own interests over theirs.

Exactly why no one should have kids as their retirement plan
Not being born makes everything easier

Thanks a lot for sharing your similar experience
I hope you can hold it together till your dad is gone so you can leave peacefully

Im not sure i can keep it up, i been wanting to die but trying to get it together for 15 years now. My older sibling is there but they have their own responsibility and life to deal with aside from being kind of far too its gonna be difficult for them to manage, so Its more of a burden if im gone.

I feel like an a**hole for leaving them to deal with all of it. Although i think its manageable still, difficult but they'll survive..so im might do it in the end
Not before a week or two from now so i guess have time to still think about it

 

[=^ه`ه^=]

Just an update on this I've planned to indeed do it so nvm

Things are getting worse within the family and talking it out with a friend made me feel even more disappointed and distant from people..
I cant take anymore

 

[bankai]

I understand sweetie cat.We're here for you. No matter what.

 

[onerousyawn]

Im in a similar situation where my father is starting to show his 72 years and I feel trapped as, besides me, he doesnt have contact with the outside world.

He worked up to the age of 70 and relied on my late mother to tell him what to do outside of that full time work. He lived to be a provider and doting father and never really kept any of the handful of friends he ever made. He "enjoys his own company." He drives to the supermarket and the odd errand but otherwise doesn't leave the house. He has no family he speaks to, either.

Life long story short, i returned home to live with him, in part cause he was struggling living by himself and in part because mental illness/ a TBI have made me fuck up my life in ever escalating ways.

At present I'm barely functioning and he's oblivious and clearly presenting early signs of dementia so you can imagine the purgatory quicksand quality of it all.

Were he not alive? I would have already CTB. There's no way me doing so won't leave him an utter wreck but waiting it out only means more suffering and deterioration, the latter in both our cases.

I really feel your predicament. I can't take another 6 months, never mind a possible 10 years.

Sending support, in however you seek to address things.