Mondays are the worst

[asterisk3]

Everyone starting their weeks, with many people in their lives and pleasurable things to take their minds off study and work. I'm alone in my room contemplating why I don't just die instead of giving my "all" again in life for the millionth time only to continue to be miserable in the long run anyway.

I just wish I had a reason to go on. To be happy. Just people around me would be ok enough. Some people can't ask for anything in this world, but oh well, at least I still have a roof over my head.

Want to CTB soon or fix this enormous mess that lives rent free (heh) in my mind. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I wish life was easier for doomed individuals. A couple centuries ago ostracized people like me would just go into the wilderness and die, I wonder if this eternal living hell with no result of my efforts is any better.








pic and song are for humorous intent
but it fits lol

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I don't like.Mondays either. They just really drive home the gap between me and conventional people.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it to be so horrible, the fact that I've managed to stay here for yet another week. I'm tired of all these endless days that just unfortunately repeat. If only we had the option to just never wake again but sadly the reality is that dying isn't that straightforward. I personally don't envy anyone who still exists, I only envy those who die but it must be tiring feeling trapped in that situation.

 

[asterisk3]

I find it to be so horrible, the fact that I've managed to stay here for yet another week. I'm tired of all these endless days that just unfortunately repeat. If only we had the option to just never wake again but sadly the reality is that dying isn't that straightforward. I personally don't envy anyone who still exists, I only envy those who die but it must be tiring feeling trapped in that situation.

Isn't N or SN with lots of benzos and proper AEs not available to you? I'm thinking about going soon if I can't change the way I feel about this wretched realm.

 

[FuneralCry]

Isn't N or SN with lots of benzos and proper AEs not available to you? I'm thinking about going soon if I can't change the way I feel about this wretched realm.

I don't believe that anyone can get N at the moment from what I read, instead there are only scams. And anyway even when N was available, it sounded complicated and risky trying to get it, it's illegal anyway and I read of someone receiving a wellness check after ordering it. But for me personally, I just have limited access to suicide methods in general, it really isn't straightforward finding ways to die in this society that does everything to restrict access to suicide methods.

 

[CowsAgainstCapitali]

I felt obligated, sorry:

 

[yyytry]

Did you know that today is Blue Monday? Supposedly the proven most depressing day of the year…and it fits.
Because I told all my social media goodbye today. And deleted my twitter and discord.

 

[somnicStargaze]

My hatred of Mondays is only matched by my love of lasagna

 

[asterisk3]

Did you know that today is Blue Monday? Supposedly the proven most depressing day of the year…and it fits.

It really does.

Because I told all my social media goodbye today. And deleted my twitter and discord.

Are you planning on going soon? Or was it more of a desire to isolate or even a simple desire not to want to use social media.
I deleted all of my social media some years back and looking back now it was one of the worst decisions I made. I wish I still had my accounts with people to reach out to. Now that I needed random people to "try my hand" at "recovery" there is no one to go to. Really dug my own grave.

Not saying it's your case, but I'm curious as to your reason, if that's okay to ask. I hope you're okay.

 

[yyytry]

It really does.

Are you planning on going soon? Or was it more of a desire to isolate or even a simple desire not to want to use social media.
I deleted all of my social media some years back and looking back now it was one of the worst decisions I made. I wish I still had my accounts with people to reach out to. Now that I needed random people to "try my hand" at "recovery" there is no one to go to. Really dug my own grave.

Not saying it's your case, but I'm curious as to your reason, if that's okay to ask. I hope you're okay.

I am digging my own grave of isolation. I don't matter. I have my method and I can check out whenever.
No one of social media gives a damn anyway. I said my goodbyes on there to 1k followers. No one said anything back

 

[asterisk3]

I am digging my own grave of isolation. I don't matter. I have my method and I can check out whenever.
No one of social media gives a damn anyway. I said my goodbyes on there to 1k followers. No one said anything back

Yeah, I'm particularly acquainted with the feeling. I had something similar not only when deleting my social media but when dropping out of uni too. Quite literally no one gave a fuck. Humans are complicated beings to deal with for us, that's for sure...

Maybe we are better off alone? I've been reading a book (lol) about how to live alone content forever and it's been helping me. Not like anyone else will, or gives a remotely small fuck not to fuck me over or leave me to the wolves. This may sound recover-ish to some extent but if I can attain a decent life feeling ok with not having anyone ever then I don't need to gulp down the salty salt drink while panicking about the world and my shit life this week.

Best of luck to you my friend, whatever you choose. Just don't let them get in your head, or your ""condition"" of seeing how shallow and fucked up humans can be.