Venting missing bearded dragon

[JustNeedAdvice]

I think life is always out to get me. My bearded dragon went missing yesterday. Was sitting outside in the backyard on a chair sunbathing, left her unattended for just a few minutes, and then she's gone. My family and I have been looking everywhere for her. There's just no sign of her anywhere. No where in the places she usually explores, no where inside, in the bushes, plants, grass, neighbors, it's like she just vanished. It isn't like her at all either. She's normally very lazy, and even if she does run off, she doesn't get too far and goes to familiar places. It was just a few minutes, we should've been able to find her quickly if she went some place, but nope.

I'm dreading the answer is that a bigger bird came down and took her. Went down, picked her up, and flew off. Just like that. There's just no trace of her anywhere. This isn't how she behaves. I feel so, so sad. I loved her like she was my child. And in just a moment she's gone. I've already been grieving enough. I've already lost enough, and now the world wants to take even more from me?

The only reason I feel so empty, like I can just accept it, is because I know I'm gonna ctb soon. I found a ratchet strap in my search - multiple, even - so if I just figure out how to make myself pass out, that's it. This life is so unfair. My poor lizard is probably dead. Life just had to take another big chunk out of me before I go. This is so disappointing.

 

[FuneralCry]

That really is so awful, existence is just too cruel, I find it horrible how existing can very easily get much worse. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.