Described me perfectly, except for things being normal. I suffer from severe depression, so not normal at all.
I'm sorry to hear that. Depression can be crippling, I know.
While I don't have clinical depression, after I lost everything, including my best friend (wife), I went in to a very dark acute depression. Was hospitalized for 5 weeks and they put me on so many different medications my head was spinning. Antianxiety meds, antidepressants, nerve meds, muscle relaxants, anti PTSD meds, you name it, I was on it. Made me sleep all the time and I absolutely HATED waking up. I still do. My favorite time of the day is right before I fall asleep, and worst time of day is first thing in the morning - knowing I have a full day ahead of me. I wish I was one of those people who wake up excited for the day.
I know meds can certainly help some people, but I feel it can make things worse for others - and I was one of those who was worse off. Threw them all in the garbage and felt a thousand times better. That's just me though, I know a lot of people have to titrate down slowly, which makes it a long, miserable experience.