SMK1444

SMK1444

Addicted to cutting
Jul 27, 2023
25
This is my first ever post on this site. I have been trying to kill myself for a little over a year now. I've had 2 really big attempts and some other minor ones and every single time they fail bc I'm scared. I get super anxious even tho I've already made up my mind I still can't fucking do it and I don't understand why. Maybe it's because of my home life? It's actually really good..I've always had people there for me and shit but I never use them because I simply don't think it'll be worth it. I'm not wealthy by any means but I'm not poor either, I can afford to buy things that I really enjoy but even then the urge is still there just distracted for a while. I hate being this way it's really embarrassing. I've thought about letting someone murder me, I tried that in January with my friend he just ended up shooting himself in a panic when confronted by a stranger, I started screaming and fell to the ground and shit just normal greif things ofc bc I just saw the person I loved most in the world bleeding out on the ground and then I remembered the gun but by that I time I attracted a little bit of a crowd and was tackled before I could pull the trigger. I was sent to the hospital and put through hell there I think that's why I'm so scared to try again?

…………………………………………………………………

I want to try a method that if it works it works and if it doesn't nobody would know about it, anyone know a good one?
 
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RejectedKarma

RejectedKarma

What was I made for
Jul 27, 2023
658
I really really feel for you....sounds really traumatizing
and I'm wondering how much of that is the fear of failure and consequences following that....it's just horrible that we have to go through so many obstacles, and unfortunately there is no straight forward answer to that

I have been reading about various methods but I always reach the same conclusion that there is no 100% success method, some require a lot of preparation, not to mention the hassle around getting the drugs, and substances and what not
There are methods that don't have side effects and would require probably at least a day to recover but that means you have to be all alone, almost secluded somewhere.

I wish you all the best and may you find your way
 
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F

fedupwithlife

Student
Jul 28, 2023
153
This is my first ever post on this site. I have been trying to kill myself for a little over a year now. I've had 2 really big attempts and some other minor ones and every single time they fail bc I'm scared. I get super anxious even tho I've already made up my mind I still can't fucking do it and I don't understand why. Maybe it's because of my home life? It's actually really good..I've always had people there for me and shit but I never use them because I simply don't think it'll be worth it. I'm not wealthy by any means but I'm not poor either, I can afford to buy things that I really enjoy but even then the urge is still there just distracted for a while. I hate being this way it's really embarrassing. I've thought about letting someone murder me, I tried that in January with my friend he just ended up shooting himself in a panic when confronted by a stranger, I started screaming and fell to the ground and shit just normal greif things ofc bc I just saw the person I loved most in the world bleeding out on the ground and then I remembered the gun but by that I time I attracted a little bit of a crowd and was tackled before I could pull the trigger. I was sent to the hospital and put through hell there I think that's why I'm so scared to try again?

…………………………………………………………………

I want to try a method that if it works it works and if it doesn't nobody would know about it, anyone know a good one?
That sounds traumatic af
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,545
Welcome to the forum! You can look into methods in the Suicide Resource Compilation which is linked in the stikcy threads. You will find lots of info there and probably there's sth that is convenient to you. I hope you can find peace and feel free to aks anything you wish for here
 
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befree

befree

Time to do more enjoyable things _____Goodbye_____
Mar 22, 2022
2,587
Overview of common methods:


This is just a general information. I do not encourage you to commit suicide and to use these methods. You act on your own responsibility.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,945
Failing suicide is exactly what I fear, it really sounds so awful what you've had to endure, I hate how suicide isn't more straightforward, it's cruel to me how it's this difficult to die. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you are searching for, best wishes.
 
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SMK1444

SMK1444

Addicted to cutting
Jul 27, 2023
25
I really really feel for you....sounds really traumatizing
and I'm wondering how much of that is the fear of failure and consequences following that....it's just horrible that we have to go through so many obstacles, and unfortunately there is no straight forward answer to that

I have been reading about various methods but I always reach the same conclusion that there is no 100% success method, some require a lot of preparation, not to mention the hassle around getting the drugs, and substances and what not
There are methods that don't have side effects and would require probably at least a day to recover but that means you have to be all alone, almost secluded somewhere.

I wish you all the best and may you find your way
Thank you man
 
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