SolomonKado
This is taking too long…
- Jul 4, 2023
- 424
I feel this world is full of material objects to keep us busy. This way we can keep running on this hamster wheel. All to benefit the people who run it all until our bodies finally give out.
Please no responses of "Your Not Ready." This is my SI kicking in and I know that.
For the longest time I have used objects to pass the time because I have anxiety and panic attacks around and because of people and it's not going to change. It's all because of what's happened all throughout my past. I haven't enjoyed anything for so long now…This entire fight I feel I've fought it alone. People don't feel it's important to lend a hand to tackle this thing together. Everyone is out for themselves. Even strangers are more known to lash out at you.
At times my anxiety spikes and my SI tries to tell me "Stick around there are new amazing games coming out", "You can make new things for others or to help your life be easier through the woodworking that you enjoy", and "there might be that perfect girl to come along and be your soul mate finally." It seems ok until people are introduced into this equation.
I know it's all lies. I know it 100%. How can I fight it? I've got so much PTSD and anxiety from this world and other people already that it's crippling. I've already lost my will to live and I know it's about to get substantially worse due to my situation. I refuse to endure more than I've already had to. My chronic pain isn't helping..
In the military I was able to see the world, had a favorite and successful profession, I was great at carpentry, and the most love I got was from my dogs. I can't stay for other people when other people caused this and put the least amount of effort to have a relationship for me. I've taken responsibility for my part in my torture, but "they" will never take responsibility for theirs and that worries me for good people having to suffer because of it too.
Please how do I fight this? I took my panic attack meds and waiting for them to kick in, but when the time comes to CTB I don't want my SI to fight me because a "new video game is coming out.."
I've become addicted to "things"…
Please no responses of "Your Not Ready." This is my SI kicking in and I know that.
For the longest time I have used objects to pass the time because I have anxiety and panic attacks around and because of people and it's not going to change. It's all because of what's happened all throughout my past. I haven't enjoyed anything for so long now…This entire fight I feel I've fought it alone. People don't feel it's important to lend a hand to tackle this thing together. Everyone is out for themselves. Even strangers are more known to lash out at you.
At times my anxiety spikes and my SI tries to tell me "Stick around there are new amazing games coming out", "You can make new things for others or to help your life be easier through the woodworking that you enjoy", and "there might be that perfect girl to come along and be your soul mate finally." It seems ok until people are introduced into this equation.
I know it's all lies. I know it 100%. How can I fight it? I've got so much PTSD and anxiety from this world and other people already that it's crippling. I've already lost my will to live and I know it's about to get substantially worse due to my situation. I refuse to endure more than I've already had to. My chronic pain isn't helping..
In the military I was able to see the world, had a favorite and successful profession, I was great at carpentry, and the most love I got was from my dogs. I can't stay for other people when other people caused this and put the least amount of effort to have a relationship for me. I've taken responsibility for my part in my torture, but "they" will never take responsibility for theirs and that worries me for good people having to suffer because of it too.
Please how do I fight this? I took my panic attack meds and waiting for them to kick in, but when the time comes to CTB I don't want my SI to fight me because a "new video game is coming out.."
I've become addicted to "things"…
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