argonian_maid
New Member
- Jul 1, 2026
- 4
Mostly venting because I have no where else to say this but also wondering if anyone has similar experiences.
I was SA'd by my older sister at a young age for a few years. My therapist says it's normal to not know the exact amount of time or dates. She was never SA'd which makes it more confusing. We have abusive parents so that might explain it.
She made me promise to keep it a secret and I didn't feel safe talking to my parents about it anyways. Now it's too late for anyone to help me. I never developed real social skills because I feel like I have to hide all of my problems, and physically hide from people in general. When I do have to interact with people I just make fun of myself to make them laugh then find an excuse to leave and hide.
I've been apathetic before I even became a teenager. Never took anything seriously and hid from most everyone, now I'm 30 with 0 achievements or ambitions. Started therapy for this a few years back but the damage has already been done.
part of me is sad that I'm ctb before I've been in a real relationship. At least I'm bi and was able to hook up with guys. It's hard to explain but I feel much more attracted to Women but when I start to think about getting close my brain stabs itself.
I feel terrible leaving behind my cat and my only friend. Working on finding my cat a good home and I hope my friend can forgive me in time. I just can't continue anymore. What were supposed to be the best years of my life were awful, staying alive feels like rubbing salt in the wound at this age. Like, it's only going to get worse from here so I may as well leave now.
I was SA'd by my older sister at a young age for a few years. My therapist says it's normal to not know the exact amount of time or dates. She was never SA'd which makes it more confusing. We have abusive parents so that might explain it.
She made me promise to keep it a secret and I didn't feel safe talking to my parents about it anyways. Now it's too late for anyone to help me. I never developed real social skills because I feel like I have to hide all of my problems, and physically hide from people in general. When I do have to interact with people I just make fun of myself to make them laugh then find an excuse to leave and hide.
I've been apathetic before I even became a teenager. Never took anything seriously and hid from most everyone, now I'm 30 with 0 achievements or ambitions. Started therapy for this a few years back but the damage has already been done.
part of me is sad that I'm ctb before I've been in a real relationship. At least I'm bi and was able to hook up with guys. It's hard to explain but I feel much more attracted to Women but when I start to think about getting close my brain stabs itself.
I feel terrible leaving behind my cat and my only friend. Working on finding my cat a good home and I hope my friend can forgive me in time. I just can't continue anymore. What were supposed to be the best years of my life were awful, staying alive feels like rubbing salt in the wound at this age. Like, it's only going to get worse from here so I may as well leave now.
