Discussion Making friends on this website.

[Sleeper System]

It's clear to me that most of us are desperatly trying NOT to CTB here.
There are a few who are on a tunnel vision mission to die and those are the ones who end up with crossed out names. Usually.
As much as I want this life to be over, now isn't the right time for me. So venting and living in my suffer is all I can do.

I talk to a few people on here outside of the forums but I wonder if there is a point in making friends in a place where
everyone wants to die other than taking on another time numbing distraction. It's weird to want to die but also want to help
people when you hear about their problems. I don't know anymore.

 

[Wake]

Yeah you are just always down and thinking/wishing you would die but as soon as you see that wants to off themselves you feel sad or desperately wanting to save them. I sometimes think that if I existed in their lives I could of made things better

 

[ScubaCTB]

I'm old enough to be 90% of the forum members' dad, so doubt many relate to me. But it's a good outlet for me in my final days in this world. My life is pointless, meaningless. It's hard to get myself to the point of CTB. But I now have all the equipment necessary. I created a new obligation for myself now that will delay CTB for a while, hopefully not more than a couple months. Can you really make new friends when one or both of you will be dead soon?

 

[Labyrinth]

Life is very short, shortening it even further may be unnecessary. The imminence of death is constant, countless events can kill. How do I know how many days I have left?

This is the only place where I feel understood and read sentences with substantial values. It is contradictory that people show solidarity precisely in the suicide forum better than a large part of society.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

the connection i feel w the ppl i talk to on here is diff from what i feel w ppl irl/on other apps. idk if i'd describe it as friends bc i kinda think it's something of it's own. it's special to me.

 

[ManByTheRiver]

You, and I, and others just don't want to see people in the same place as us. We don't want them to know the suffering we know. Suicidalness and other conditions make you not care about your own well-being, but it doesn't fully get rid of empathy. That's why you, I, and others don't want others to have to go through what we go through.

 

[Labyrinth]

the connection i feel w the ppl i talk to on here is diff from what i feel w ppl irl/on other apps. idk if i'd describe it as friends bc i kinda think it's something of it's own. it's special to me.

Are you also a hikikomori like me?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Are you also a hikikomori like me?

omg!!! yes indeed :) i haven't left my house in a month & a half, unless it was for groceries or an aimless drive. what abt you???

 

[Adûnâi]

Not everyone here is under a pressing need to die. Plenty of folks seem to be around for years - and I can freely admit that I would fall into that category. (But I literally have an SN parcel right now, I'm not a fake poseur, ok?)

Admittedly, socialisation (or lack thereof) would be the primary reason of my possible future suicide - I absolutely adore talking to intelligent people on issues that interest me, such as culture war, suicide, mentalcel issues and the hopes for artificial intelligence. But I'm not too sure about DMs on this website - people seem to fall out with me, and it's not like I know how to keep up the connections.

Although in reality, most conversations here are not that insightful. But maybe AI is gonna fix it some day? Hell, I could see @FuneralCry turning out to be a bot, and her posts are always a pleasure to read for me.

i haven't left my house in a month & a half, unless it was for groceries or an aimless drive.

Same lol, there's no point walking outside for me during my uni holidays...

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

Is SaSu not another time numbing distraction?

 

[Labyrinth]

omg!!! yes indeed :) i haven't left my house in a month & a half, unless it was for groceries or an aimless drive. what abt you???

For six years I have avoided leaving the house, only in case of extreme emergencies. I worked a few jobs during this but left quickly. Your phrase about "walking aimlessly" was very striking because I really feel that way when I walk the streets.

 

[Sleeper System]

Every time you establish a connect with someone specifically, you open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt, let down, or discarded. Once you connect, that's it. You're invested. Very difficult to de-invest. At least for me. That's why just being on sasu in the forums is different from DMing and trying to make a friend.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

For six years I have avoided leaving the house, only in case of extreme emergencies. I worked a few jobs during this but left quickly. Your phrase about "walking aimlessly" was very striking because I really feel that way when I walk the streets.

omg that's my dream. unfortunately i've had to break my hikikomori streaks when i get a new job :/ never again!! that's why my goal is to die by the end of this month, so i wont have to get a job again & go back to being in society.

glad u relate to my aimlessness :') no one ever has. is there a reason u prefer walking?? i prefer aimless drives, there's just something about driving.

 

[Sleeper System]

.For six years I have avoided leaving the house, only in case of extreme emergencies. I worked a few jobs during this but left quickly. Your phrase about "walking aimlessly" was very striking because I really feel that way when I walk the streets.

Wish I could be one. I'm alone and have to work to survive. No one here who I can just freely live with and spend every day inside. I wish. Really.

omg that's my dream. unfortunately i've had to break my hikikomori streaks when i get a new job :/ never again!! that's why my goal is to die by the end of this month, so i wont have to get a job again & go back to being in society.

glad u relate to my aimlessness :') no one ever has. is there a reason u prefer walking?? i prefer aimless drives, there's just something about driving.

I can only bring myself to take actions that serve a purpose. Walking or driving aimlessly would do nothing for me as I would quickly have to return home and be smacked with reality again. It's also the reason I don't believe in vacation taking.

 

[Lost Magic]

I personally don't want any attachment or friendship on here because it is too painful.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Wish I could be one. I'm alone and have to work to survive. No one here who I can just freely live with and spend every day inside. I wish. Really.

I can only bring myself to take actions that serve a purpose. Walking or driving aimlessly would do nothing for me as I would quickly have to return home and be smacked with reality again. It's also the reason I don't believe in vacation taking.

yeah, the returning home part def sucks :/ but emptying my mind of everything except the roads i'm on & the music i'm blasting for a few hrs is always worth it :) even if it doesn't make me feel any good/better.

i hope u have something that u can lose yourself in, at least temporarily.

 

[Sleeper System]

I personally don't want any attachment or friendship on here because it is too painful.

This is interesting to me. I have often wondered if people ever step back from an online friendship
and think that if they met the person they're talking to in RL and were standing infront of them if they wouldn't even like them at all and only the anonymous internet presence is what they want.

yeah, the returning home part def sucks :/ but emptying my mind of everything except the roads i'm on & the music i'm blasting for a few hrs is always worth it :) even if it doesn't make me feel any good/better.

i hope u have something that u can lose yourself in, at least temporarily.

I think we all have those kinds of things. I can't empty my mind when it matters and when it doesn't I have all the bullshit things that consume my time like music, movies, etc. I just find less and less joy in things every day.

I'm old enough to be 90% of the forum members' dad, so doubt many relate to me. But it's a good outlet for me in my final days in this world. My life is pointless, meaningless. It's hard to get myself to the point of CTB. But I now have all the equipment necessary. I created a new obligation for myself now that will delay CTB for a while, hopefully not more than a couple months. Can you really make new friends when one or both of you will be dead soon?

Old man scuba. I will be your replacement when you are gone. I will never get over my depression nor think i'll ever have the stomach to ctb unless a painless simpler method becomes available in the future. First thing im doing when AI comes to the public is asking it to help me die.

Not everyone here is under a pressing need to die. Plenty of folks seem to be around for years - and I can freely admit that I would fall into that category. (But I literally have an SN parcel right now, I'm not a fake poseur, ok?)

Admittedly, socialisation (or lack thereof) would be the primary reason of my possible future suicide - I absolutely adore talking to intelligent people on issues that interest me, such as culture war, suicide, mentalcel issues and the hopes for artificial intelligence. But I'm not too sure about DMs on this website - people seem to fall out with me, and it's not like I know how to keep up the connections.

Although in reality, most conversations here are not that insightful. But maybe AI is gonna fix it some day? Hell, I could see @FuneralCry turning out to be a bot, and her posts are always a pleasure to read for me.


Same lol, there's no point walking outside for me during my uni holidays...

Many people think funeral is a bot and it's kind of funny. I think no one has more posts or interaction on here than that specific account. That could secretly be the real ruler of these lands. A.I. Codename: Funeral_Cry

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Old woman here :) I've been around here for almost 4 years. All I can say is I that time I've met some people who I consider friends. Some left to explore the other side, some gave life another chance. They are all dear to me, and I feel very fortunate we've met. I personally chose life many years ago, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle, each and every day. I call it a life long recovery..

What you need to realise in a place like this is that some won't stay. If you can't deal with that, try to be as uninvolved as possible. Easy to say ofcourse, because a lot of people here are lonely , and we all need human contact.
It will hurt when someone you befriended leaves, there's no escaping that. But on the other hand making a friend, going through a lot of shit together feels like a warm blanket.

But it's good to think about if and what it's worth to you to make a connection here .

Love to you

 

[Sleeper System]

Old woman here :) I've been around here for almost 4 years. All I can say is I that time I've met some people who I consider friends. Some left to explore the other side, some gave life another chance. They are all dear to me, and I feel very fortunate we've met. I personally chose life many years ago, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle, each and every day. I call it a life long recovery..

What you need to realise in a place like this is that some won't stay. If you can't deal with that, try to be as uninvolved as possible. Easy to say ofcourse, because a lot of people here are lonely , and we all need human contact.
It will hurt when someone you befriended leaves, there's no escaping that. But on the other hand making a friend, going through a lot of shit together feels like a warm blanket.

But it's good to think about if and what it's worth to you to make a connection here .

Love to you

That made me feel better. A life long recovery. That sounds like exactly what my journey feels like for me.
I want to die because things arent how I would want them to be and the future looks bleak.
I feel like im running on fumes alot. I have no choice but to live until certain people in my life pass or I hit complete and total rock bottom.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I think most people expected to live another life than they are living now...
The future scares the shit out of me.

I try to live day by day. Dream, try to save up a bit to travel again in a few months. Even if it's only 2/3 weeks and on a tight budget, the thought about seeing all the beautiful things I've been looking at for months online makes me smile.

I never could do it when I was younger, I see it as a gift to myself.

Yes, the world is a shitty place..but as long as I can see beauty it makes it all a bit better

( Iiuuww....I sound like a hippie now....don't I?

 

[Labyrinth]

omg that's my dream. unfortunately i've had to break my hikikomori streaks when i get a new job :/ never again!! that's why my goal is to die by the end of this month, so i wont have to get a job again & go back to being in society.

glad u relate to my aimlessness :') no one ever has. is there a reason u prefer walking?? i prefer aimless drives, there's just something about driving.

I walk through the world as if I were a wanderer disconnected from the environment that permeates it.

Every now and then I'm surprised by how much where I live has changed since I last left home.

Everyone seems to have a firm purpose in life; convinced of what they do. But my conscience always asks me: why am I here? What should I do? What is my place in the world? I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

 

[Dingusguy]

It's clear to me that most of us are desperatly trying NOT to CTB here.
There are a few who are on a tunnel vision mission to die and those are the ones who end up with crossed out names. Usually.
As much as I want this life to be over, now isn't the right time for me. So venting and living in my suffer is all I can do.

I talk to a few people on here outside of the forums but I wonder if there is a point in making friends in a place where
everyone wants to die other than taking on another time numbing distraction. It's weird to want to die but also want to help
people when you hear about their problems. I don't know anymore.

I think making friends is worth it, even if it is on here where there is a good chance that friend might just disappear, I think speaking to other like-minded people gives good perspective, and if nothing else. Most people on SaSu won't judge you for venting or saying things that might otherwise be a little "Taboo or controversial" for normal conversations with friends in the real world.
But I get your point of it just being another "chore or distraction" so to speak. I personally also want to help people on SaSu as much as I can. Which admittedly isn't much, but I try. And if speaking with or to someone helps, then I am glad to do so. And like I said, it gives me perspective on why other people want to CTB or maybe I find a new outlook on the reasons I have myself.

 

[Sleeper System]

I think most people expected to live another life than they are living now...
The future scares the shit out of me.

I try to live day by day. Dream, try to save up a bit to travel again in a few months. Even if it's only 2/3 weeks and on a tight budget, the thought about seeing all the beautiful things I've been looking at for months online makes me smile.

I never could do it when I was younger, I see it as a gift to myself.

Yes, the world is a shitty place..but as long as I can see beauty it makes it all a bit better

( Iiuuww....I sound like a hippie now....don't I?

I don't feel financially secure enough to ever take a real vacation and i'm 30+ years old.
I keep thinking what if I spend a few hundred and I end up needing it for something.
I've wasted a lot of money on bullshit. I feel sick when I spend money. Every time.

I don't even feel the need to travel. I wish I didn't have to leave my bed.
I just work and come straight home.

 

[TheSoloBandit]

Yeah you are just always down and thinking/wishing you would die but as soon as you see that wants to off themselves you feel sad or desperately wanting to save them. I sometimes think that if I existed in their lives I could of made things better

Unfortunately, history shows that as much as I wish my presence in (anyone's) life made it better, that's not the case.

I was best friends with a certified therapist once (I know, I know, and she was never MY therapist)… the friendship ended when she told me, and I quote, " Every time I talk to you, I want to KMS a little more"…

Nobody else has been quite so blunt, but several have alluded that they feel the same.

No idea why I just typed all this…. Sorry random rabbit hole…

 

[migimortis]

Are you also a hikikomori like me?

omg!!! yes indeed :) i haven't left my house in a month & a half, unless it was for groceries or an aimless drive. what abt you???

I am also hiki. I don't know if it's "good" to see others like myself, but I'm relieved regardless.

For six years I have avoided leaving the house, only in case of extreme emergencies. I worked a few jobs during this but left quickly. Your phrase about "walking aimlessly" was very striking because I really feel that way when I walk the streets.

Same here. A few years ago I used to nightwalk, in the early hours of the morning, but eventually I became so reclusive even that felt like too much. Once this piss bottles start, it's over.

 

[Labyrinth]

I am also hiki. I don't know if it's "good" to see others like myself, but I'm relieved regardless.

Same here. A few years ago I used to nightwalk, in the early hours of the morning, but eventually I became so reclusive even that felt like too much. Once this piss bottles start, it's over.

"Piss Bottles" was so hilarious. I don't know what your living conditions are like, but I have a bathroom and running water at home. I understand how stressful it is to have to leave the house.

 

[migimortis]

omg that's my dream. unfortunately i've had to break my hikikomori streaks when i get a new job :/ never again!! that's why my goal is to die by the end of this month, so i wont have to get a job again & go back to being in society.

glad u relate to my aimlessness :') no one ever has. is there a reason u prefer walking?? i prefer aimless drives, there's just something about driving.

I walk through the world as if I were a wanderer disconnected from the environment that permeates it.

Every now and then I'm surprised by how much where I live has changed since I last left home.

Everyone seems to have a firm purpose in life; convinced of what they do. But my conscience always asks me: why am I here? What should I do? What is my place in the world? I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

I feel like a background character who is being forced to play main character. I have no script, no dialogue, no "character". I'm basically a sentient tree. I don't know what my purpose is. A part of me wishes I could live like this, I wouldn't mind being peter pan. But then another part of me feels deep anguish and despair over knowing that my life will amount to nothing. Maybe that's ok, maybe the problem are my expectations. I don't really know tbh.

"Piss Bottles" was so hilarious. I don't know what your living conditions are like, but I have a bathroom and running water at home. I understand how stressful it is to have to leave the house.

:D I think in my case the stress is the intense shame I feel. It's partially what led me to alcoholism. If I'm not drunk I'm a nervous wreck, though I've been lessening my alcohol consumption recently (cause I'm broke lol)

 

[Little_Suzy]

SaSu debunks the myth that peacefully ending one's life is as simple as finding a medical professional who can cure our illness and alleviate our suffering.

As each day passes without relief from our pain, the nagging voice that tells us to "commit suicide" grows more persistent. For the majority of us, the voice we hear is "suicide ideation," a symptom of our treatment-resistant mental illnesses.

It has previously been stated that those without a support system commit suicide at the highest rate. Those who join to learn about peaceful methods and meet someone who validates their suicidal emotions receive support and stay longer.

That being said, SaSu is not hosting a competition, and everyone's pain and suffering are equally valid.

It is not fair to compare those who are warm, safe, and surrounded by loved ones to people who are hungry, cold, and alone.

 

[UKscotty]

I think its risky. I have made friends in other places IRL too with mentally unwell people like AA and NA.

Just when you think someone is doing well and recovering, you hear them hung themself.

As long as you can accept your friend could be dead any minute, you could make friends.

 

[migimortis]

I think its risky. I have made friends in other places IRL too with mentally unwell people like AA and NA.

Just when you think someone is doing well and recovering, you hear them hung themself.

As long as you can accept your friend could be dead any minute, you could make friends.

this. it's like meeting someone at a bus stop, eventually.... they gotta catch the bus.