Venting made psychiatrist appointments and the hardest part is sticking around for them

[shocksites]

i really want to get better but it's so hard to "do it for myself" when i have no one in my life who even cares. i'm alone and it fucking sucks. i don't care about "getting better for myself". i only ever wanted to change to make others more comfortable and im still trying to give it a shot, but my first appointment is in a week and it's only intake. and i'm already on the verge of just ctb. i just wish i could fast forward through this part of my life to see if it really would get better. i don't want to keep suffering. i've suffered long enough already.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

I'm the same. I don't have a great therapist, but not being happy with her made me reach out to an estranged family member and having that connection again has been helpful. The family member is long distance, so we can only talk on the phone or text, but it has been something. I've also found posting on this forum to be very helpful. For example, I've been feeling ok for the past week so I haven't been on here much at all, but I had a really tough night tonight and have made a ton of posts. It definitely helps me. I hope something good comes your way soon.