Making a lil journal thread for my 
journey as I go through things
lil intro:
Hi, I'm Bird
Diagnosed Borderline, bipolar, & a bitch
hEDS, POTS, & other minor casualties
Entry 1
It's 11:29 PM. August 3. 3 months, 27 days until I'm either here or not. Until things are better or… better.
I had my first shift today at my new job. It wasn't bad. Kinda enjoyed it. But unfortunately it's not a job that I can keep forever because it's not going to pay to let me live. So. Enjoy it while it lasts I guess.
Today otherwise was pretty crappy. I woke up at 4 am. Couldn't go back to sleep. Then couldn't stop crying. Over everything. What was the point? Honestly? Look at me, with my 'fancy' new job - that will get me no where in life. I am no one. I am nothing. I have no path and no drive and I can't pass a drug test.
"You could substitute teach" how do I say I can't pass a drug test
"You could work front desk at ()" how do I say I can't pass a drug test
"You could…" how do I say I can't pass a drug test.
all because I smoke a little weed in my off times so I don't blow my head off. But it's still considered a felony here.
I don't know. I'm tired. My head hurts. I have a psych appointment tomorrow and I don't want to do it. Or my neuro appointment.
Sigh.
That's it for now.
journey as I go through things lil intro:
Hi, I'm Bird
Diagnosed Borderline, bipolar, & a bitch
hEDS, POTS, & other minor casualties
Entry 1
It's 11:29 PM. August 3. 3 months, 27 days until I'm either here or not. Until things are better or… better.
I had my first shift today at my new job. It wasn't bad. Kinda enjoyed it. But unfortunately it's not a job that I can keep forever because it's not going to pay to let me live. So. Enjoy it while it lasts I guess.
Today otherwise was pretty crappy. I woke up at 4 am. Couldn't go back to sleep. Then couldn't stop crying. Over everything. What was the point? Honestly? Look at me, with my 'fancy' new job - that will get me no where in life. I am no one. I am nothing. I have no path and no drive and I can't pass a drug test.
"You could substitute teach" how do I say I can't pass a drug test
"You could work front desk at ()" how do I say I can't pass a drug test
"You could…" how do I say I can't pass a drug test.
all because I smoke a little weed in my off times so I don't blow my head off. But it's still considered a felony here.
I don't know. I'm tired. My head hurts. I have a psych appointment tomorrow and I don't want to do it. Or my neuro appointment.
Sigh.
That's it for now.
