Venting Lying to yourself that things are ok or will get better

[Ilostmytoast]

You know it's weird cause I'm aware I don't have much of anybody to talk too or I'm very very scared to talk to them like my family
I barely get any sleep, I have no friends, I'm not productive, I'm not rlly anything sometimes I think I'm really just nothing but waste

I guess those moments of fun even if they're so little help me get away from those thoughts but anyways I have these thoughts and I acknowledge them and I acknowledge my situation and all that but I still make believe things are ok and that they'll get better but even with that mindset nothing changes I don't actually get better and I suffer moments like these which are temporary but still annoying to endure and recently thoughts of suicide have recently increased a lot and though I promised to not do it again even practicing it but I still rlly rlly rlly want too ugh I just can't do this anymore honestly

 

[Front Back]

We're prisoners of our own mind, seems silly but I wonder if it's a hope is.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Ya things don't get better just look at my join date and I'm still on here

 

[leerosa]

Things rarely get better. In fact there is a high chance they'll get worse and harm more people. I really wish I had offed myself sooner.

 

[JoeFailure]

There really isn't a definite on if things will get better or not. I've been around here off and on for a while now and I know people who things did get a lot better for, and some unfortunately who ended up CTB or things still aren't better. Things were better for me for a while and now they currently aren't.

 

[catgirlfailure]

I feel you, it's the main reason why I'm here. I tried to better myself several times, unfortunately the improvments didn't last long. I've heard many people claiming they finally managed to get their shit together but it feels delusional to think it'll happen to me. I fear that I'm stuck in an endless loop of getting better then disappointing and burdening people who care about me. The only significant change that happened to me is somehow getting a boyfriend, but we'll probably have to break up in the future because he wants children and I don't.

 

[Bishop]

I personally see it as an "I don't know". Because that's the reality. I'm not a psychic nor fortune teller. I can't foresee what the future holds. No matter what my distorted mind tells me.