Low Dose SN Trial Run Experience

[miyabi]

writing this from the hospital ward. I ended up going for a "trial run" of SN, just measuring 0.5g or so into several cups and taking them over an hour. I did not bother to use my meto or any ancillaries.

Symptoms wise, there was pounding of the chest and ears and ringing. No nausea whatsoever. I had been fasted for maybe 7 hours. Towards the end there was weakness in the legs physically and at some point I peacefully passed out, as I was found by emergency services unconscious and grey in colour.

If anyone takes nicotine pouches or snus, I would liken it to that feeling (but slightly less euphoric, lol)

I did not know the point at which I slipped away, the next conscious moment I was aware is when they pulled me out of the induced coma.

Somehow it seems I managed to accidentally send a voice message to my work group chat of me whilst I was dying, not sure how I feel about them thinking I sent them audio of me snoring ;(

According to doctors I was about 10 minutes away from death. I honestly don't regret my decision as when I decided to give it a "test run" I was comfortable with that being it, but you do not need much SN. I wonder if the low dosage also meant that I didn't experience nausea or vomit.

I don't have any permanent damage from this - went for a CT scan whilst in the coma and doctors believe my brain functioning is fine from talking with me.

Truthfully it's offered me reassurance as now I know that my SN is real and if I do the full protocol I am guaranteed death, and considering that I was due to die my last moments at the time were something I wasn't even aware of, it was just like how you don't know you're falling asleep. According to the medics my blood was completely chocolate brown and skin pale like a corpse before they brought me back. The SN I had used was bought years ago and I had opened them a few years ago so it did have oxygen exposure - but still clearly potent enough to be lethal.

Also, importantly, my biggest fear was that they would know it was a suicide attempt. Contrary to some advice I received from other members, they are completely unaware. They questioned me about taking any drugs or if I could remember working in any hazardous environments, but there was never even a hint towards suicide or even a mention of SN.

As others have mentioned in the "do not trial ingest SN thread" absolutely do not take this as a suicidal gesture, as I came extremely close to death. But considering I was fine with catching my bus, im grateful that it wasn't as bad of an experience as I had hoped and ultimately i don't have any negative consequences from it.

 

[isthisthingon]

How many of the .5g cups did you ingest? It's crazy that such a low dosage can cause this much damage.

How did emergency services find you? Did someone call for them?

 

[miyabi]

How many of the .5g cups did you ingest? It's crazy that such a low dosage can cause this much damage.

How did emergency services find you? Did someone call for them?

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicidality-in-emergency-services-workers.248278/#post-3515327

I've linked the thread I was documenting the experience on live. Maybe 15 mins after my last update I was too weak to post updates and then I must have lost consciousness.

I called the ambulance myself, once I started losing colour in my vision. It's a weird mentality, but I figured I'd leave it to fate as to whether I should live or not. If they saved me, I would know that my SN is viable, and if I died then it that's that. They took 3 hours to get to me as I lost consciousness before they arrived and they needed additional help forcing entry .

The last SPO2 measurement I was able to conduct with my watch read 84%. According to hospital staff this dropped to 60% in hospital at which point they expected me to die.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

How old was ur Sn ?

U said u opened it ? How many years ago? Was it DD or ccs?

 

[peacebenow]

But why would you do this ? Risks are extreme.

 

[miyabi]

How old was ur Sn ?

U said u opened it ? How many years ago? Was it DD or ccs?

4 years old, and I broke the seal two years ago. I don't know what either of those acronyms are, a few years ago it wasn't on mainstream news as a suicide chemical so you could find them being sold on chemical wholesale sites which is where I got mine from.

But why would you do this ? Risks are extreme.

Because I've been suicidal since I was a child and I would miss out on nothing positive if I had died.I strongly suspect I have ptsd but I can't seek treatment for it as I'd likely lose my job if I disclosed mental health issues. I'm also a coward and unable to go all the way though, which is why I didn't go for the full protocol. I was only able to do it by telling myself it was just "testing" it.

 

[GT Darkarage]

Thanks for describing your experience. It is useful for some of us.

I hope you are ok and you're recovering from it

I have one question, how it was the color of your solution, does it was crystal clear or just a bit yellowish?

 

[nettspend]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicidality-in-emergency-services-workers.248278/#post-3515327

I've linked the thread I was documenting the experience on live. Maybe 15 mins after my last update I was too weak to post updates and then I must have lost consciousness.

I called the ambulance myself, once I started losing colour in my vision. It's a weird mentality, but I figured I'd leave it to fate as to whether I should live or not. If they saved me, I would know that my SN is viable, and if I died then it that's that. They took 3 hours to get to me as I lost consciousness before they arrived and they needed additional help forcing entry .

The last SPO2 measurement I was able to conduct with my watch read 84%. According to hospital staff this dropped to 60% in hospital at which point they expected me to die.

It's genuinely incredible that you survived this, seemingly without any brain damage. The human body is incredibly resilient, for better or worse.. I must say I'm a bit confused that anyone would do this. "Testing" SN in lower doses and making sure you will be found means you are more likely to end up in a wheelchair than to end up dead. I'm glad you made it out okay.

 

[miyabi]

Thanks for describing your experience. It is useful for some of us.

I hope you are ok and you're recovering from it

I have one question, how it was the color of your solution, does it was crystal clear or just a bit yellowish?

Thanks <3. I think it seemed a bit yellow, from memory. There was some clumping as well.

It's genuinely incredible that you survived this, seemingly without any brain damage. The human body is incredibly resilient, for better or worse.. I must say I'm a bit confused that anyone would do this. "Testing" SN in lower doses and making sure you will be found means you are more likely to end up in a wheelchair than to end up dead. I'm glad you made it out okay.

I remember years ago reading some threads where it seemed the risk of long term damage for failed attempts was low. It's obviously just a sourceless claim, but that was my understanding of it. I deal with a lot of suicides at work in the more traditional methods which are often mentioned on the forum by some people and they often have a large rate of permanent disablement.

Ultimately I say it was a "test run" but it was really just a suicide attempt, and my way of succumbing to it instead of making an outright decision. I wasn't even aware that I was falling unconscious so it would've been a pretty peaceful death, compared to the SI and fear of me knowingly going all in if that makes sense.

 

[a-lien]

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[miyabi]

[Hidden content]

I just told them I was experiencing shortness of breath. I haven't seen the damage but I guess they had to damage something to get in. I'm still in the ICU but there's no plan to keep me here for any mental health treatment, they have no idea what the cause is. So hopefully I'll be discharged in the next day as im doing fine on vitals.

I don't work in a hospital, but I do regularly attend them for injuries and mental health etc. Most importantly nobody knows about the suicide intent, so I don't have anything to worry about.

There was a girl a few weeks ago I took to the hospital for a suicide attempt and when I was alone with her in the room she was whispering to me that the other paramedics didn't believe she was suicidal and that they were treating her like she was a burden. I even remember one of them saying to her something like "come on, we don't have all day". Can't remember the exact wording but it the sentiment was just apathy or disdain, or judgement.

I got pulled away to go to something else, but I wish I could've stayed with her because so many people have a horrible view of suicidal people. So unfortunately I've got this knowledge that that's how they would view me, if they knew the truth about my situation. Even aside from the job, which wouldn't allow it, I wish I could've given her a hug as a human. I remember the feeling like I wanted one before I lost consciousness.

 

[a-lien]

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[fadedghost]

I just told them I was experiencing shortness of breath. I haven't seen the damage but I guess they had to damage something to get in. I'm still in the ICU but there's no plan to keep me here for any mental health treatment, they have no idea what the cause is. So hopefully I'll be discharged in the next day as im doing fine on vitals.

I don't work in a hospital, but I do regularly attend them for injuries and mental health etc. Most importantly nobody knows about the suicide intent, so I don't have anything to worry about.

There was a girl a few weeks ago I took to the hospital for a suicide attempt and when I was alone with her in the room she was whispering to me that the other paramedics didn't believe she was suicidal and that they were treating her like she was a burden. I even remember one of them saying to her something like "come on, we don't have all day". Can't remember the exact wording but it the sentiment was just apathy or disdain, or judgement.

I got pulled away to go to something else, but I wish I could've stayed with her because so many people have a horrible view of suicidal people. So unfortunately I've got this knowledge that that's how they would view me, if they knew the truth about my situation. Even aside from the job, which wouldn't allow it, I wish I could've given her a hug as a human. I remember the feeling like I wanted one before I lost consciousness.

what was the dx? You're lucky they didn't test your blood while you were passed out based on the low O2, and I mean lucky because involuntary care is awful

 

[miyabi]

what was the dx? You're lucky they didn't test your blood while you were passed out based on the low O2, and I mean lucky because involuntary care is awful

it was methemoglobinemia treated with methylene blue. They did do plenty of blood tests, but all negative. I guess they can't test for SN? They know the condition, just don't know what caused it. There are apparently a lot of potential causes for this condition, not just SN, so they weren't to deduce the cause unless I told them.

 

[a-lien]

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[death_bed221]

How bad was the shortness of breath?
Did it feel like choking?

 

[miyabi]

How bad was the shortness of breath?
Did it feel like choking?

No, it didn't feel like choking at all. Comparable to anxiety. It was overshadowed by the reduced vision, muscle weakness snd rapid heartbeat.

[Hidden content]
[Hidden content]

Yeah, good nurses and HCPs make a massive difference in the way patients feel.

I don't necessarily advise doing what i did, at the end of the day the established protocol is the safest way and is what id do to guarantee death. Guess it just shows how potent the lethality is.

 

[ZeroRedz02]

No, it didn't feel like choking at all. Comparable to anxiety. It was overshadowed by the reduced vision, muscle weakness snd rapid heartbeat.

Yeah, good nurses and HCPs make a massive difference in the way patients feel.

I don't necessarily advise doing what i did, at the end of the day the established protocol is the safest way and is what id do to guarantee death. Guess it just shows how potent the lethality is.

If i will do it with 10 milligrams of SN they will caught me to be a suicide cause i have history of 2 psychiatric wards, and i was diagnosed with Psychotic depression and Autism.

P.S: For being sure to not be alive by that moment i will prepare one cup of 10 milligrams then another cup of 15 milligram, initially i wanted to poison myself with 25 mg of SN.

No, it didn't feel like choking at all. Comparable to anxiety. It was overshadowed by the reduced vision, muscle weakness snd rapid heartbeat.

Yeah, good nurses and HCPs make a massive difference in the way patients feel.

I don't necessarily advise doing what i did, at the end of the day the established protocol is the safest way and is what id do to guarantee death. Guess it just shows how potent the lethality is.

I just want to ask you this for being sure of why you was dying so fast, what is your body weight? I think mine is 75 kg maybe right now is even 80 kg cause i did eat alot in these days also need to calculate that i was also diagnosed to have Anemia

 

[dirkw83]

Was it tough to overcome SI, even just for a "small" dosage like this ?

 

[oilsaniok]

If i will do it with 10 milligrams of SN they will caught me to be a suicide cause i have history of 2 psychiatric wards, and i was diagnosed with Psychotic depression and Autism.

P.S: For being sure to not be alive by that moment i will prepare one cup of 10 milligrams then another cup of 15 milligram, initially i wanted to poison myself with 25 mg of SN.

I just want to ask you this for being sure of why you was dying so fast, what is your body weight? I think mine is 75 kg maybe right now is even 80 kg cause i did eat alot in these days also need to calculate that i was also diagnosed to have Anemia

i also wanted to know

 

[ZeroRedz02]

i also wanted to know

Also i needed to be more specific that i did accidentally/on purpose suicidally fell from my terrace.

 

[oilsaniok]

writing this from the hospital ward. I ended up going for a "trial run" of SN, just measuring 0.5g or so into several cups and taking them over an hour. I did not bother to use my meto or any ancillaries.

Symptoms wise, there was pounding of the chest and ears and ringing. No nausea whatsoever. I had been fasted for maybe 7 hours. Towards the end there was weakness in the legs physically and at some point I peacefully passed out, as I was found by emergency services unconscious and grey in colour.

If anyone takes nicotine pouches or snus, I would liken it to that feeling (but slightly less euphoric, lol)

I did not know the point at which I slipped away, the next conscious moment I was aware is when they pulled me out of the induced coma.

Somehow it seems I managed to accidentally send a voice message to my work group chat of me whilst I was dying, not sure how I feel about them thinking I sent them audio of me snoring ;(

According to doctors I was about 10 minutes away from death. I honestly don't regret my decision as when I decided to give it a "test run" I was comfortable with that being it, but you do not need much SN. I wonder if the low dosage also meant that I didn't experience nausea or vomit.

I don't have any permanent damage from this - went for a CT scan whilst in the coma and doctors believe my brain functioning is fine from talking with me.

Truthfully it's offered me reassurance as now I know that my SN is real and if I do the full protocol I am guaranteed death, and considering that I was due to die my last moments at the time were something I wasn't even aware of, it was just like how you don't know you're falling asleep. According to the medics my blood was completely chocolate brown and skin pale like a corpse before they brought me back. The SN I had used was bought years ago and I had opened them a few years ago so it did have oxygen exposure - but still clearly potent enough to be lethal.

Also, importantly, my biggest fear was that they would know it was a suicide attempt. Contrary to some advice I received from other members, they are completely unaware. They questioned me about taking any drugs or if I could remember working in any hazardous environments, but there was never even a hint towards suicide or even a mention of SN.

As others have mentioned in the "do not trial ingest SN thread" absolutely do not take this as a suicidal gesture, as I came extremely close to death. But considering I was fine with catching my bus, im grateful that it wasn't as bad of an experience as I had hoped and ultimately i don't have any negative consequences from it.

how much water do u use for 0.5 g?

 

[ZeroRedz02]

how much water do u use for 0.5 g?

Standard is 42 or 50 ml max 100ml

 

[oilsaniok]

Standard is 42 or 50 ml max 100ml

won't it be too diluted?

 

[ZeroRedz02]

won't it be too diluted?

I think it will be like that, but you are drinking it always

 

[fadedghost]

it was methemoglobinemia treated with methylene blue. They did do plenty of blood tests, but all negative. I guess they can't test for SN? They know the condition, just don't know what caused it. There are apparently a lot of potential causes for this condition, not just SN, so they weren't to deduce the cause unless I told them.

that's shocking

 

[gothbird]

Another "I tested SN" thread. Another grey hair. This is stupid. This a spreading dangerous ideas that SN is just super chill to try out.
Please consider not posting this stuff in the future. There is no point making people more afraid and also putting your life at risk when youre not intentional with it. I hate these threads with every fiber of my body.

 

[flyingangel]

writing this from the hospital ward. I ended up going for a "trial run" of SN, just measuring 0.5g or so into several cups and taking them over an hour. I did not bother to use my meto or any ancillaries.

Symptoms wise, there was pounding of the chest and ears and ringing. No nausea whatsoever. I had been fasted for maybe 7 hours. Towards the end there was weakness in the legs physically and at some point I peacefully passed out, as I was found by emergency services unconscious and grey in colour.

If anyone takes nicotine pouches or snus, I would liken it to that feeling (but slightly less euphoric, lol)

I did not know the point at which I slipped away, the next conscious moment I was aware is when they pulled me out of the induced coma.

Somehow it seems I managed to accidentally send a voice message to my work group chat of me whilst I was dying, not sure how I feel about them thinking I sent them audio of me snoring ;(

According to doctors I was about 10 minutes away from death. I honestly don't regret my decision as when I decided to give it a "test run" I was comfortable with that being it, but you do not need much SN. I wonder if the low dosage also meant that I didn't experience nausea or vomit.

I don't have any permanent damage from this - went for a CT scan whilst in the coma and doctors believe my brain functioning is fine from talking with me.

Truthfully it's offered me reassurance as now I know that my SN is real and if I do the full protocol I am guaranteed death, and considering that I was due to die my last moments at the time were something I wasn't even aware of, it was just like how you don't know you're falling asleep. According to the medics my blood was completely chocolate brown and skin pale like a corpse before they brought me back. The SN I had used was bought years ago and I had opened them a few years ago so it did have oxygen exposure - but still clearly potent enough to be lethal.

Also, importantly, my biggest fear was that they would know it was a suicide attempt. Contrary to some advice I received from other members, they are completely unaware. They questioned me about taking any drugs or if I could remember working in any hazardous environments, but there was never even a hint towards suicide or even a mention of SN.

As others have mentioned in the "do not trial ingest SN thread" absolutely do not take this as a suicidal gesture, as I came extremely close to death. But considering I was fine with catching my bus, im grateful that it wasn't as bad of an experience as I had hoped and ultimately i don't have any negative consequences from it.

How long did it take for you to lose consciousness? Glad there weren't any ill effects

 

[ge0rge]

Another "I tested SN" thread. Another grey hair. This is stupid. This a spreading dangerous ideas that SN is just super chill to try out.
Please consider not posting this stuff in the future. There is no point making people more afraid and also putting your life at risk when youre not intentional with it. I hate these threads with every fiber of my body.

this level of reading comprehension is making me more suicidal than all of my life conditions
you WILL go on my suicide note

 

[miyabi]

Another "I tested SN" thread. Another grey hair. This is stupid. This a spreading dangerous ideas that SN is just super chill to try out.
Please consider not posting this stuff in the future. There is no point making people more afraid and also putting your life at risk when youre not intentional with it. I hate these threads with every fiber of my body.

I feel sorry for your profound ability to miss the part where I mentioned several times I was happy to die and it was a legit attempt.