losing contact with someone i love-feeling constantly suicidal

[per_aspera_ad_astra]

a few years ago i met someone who had an incredibly beautiful soul, like legitimately one of the most beautiful i've ever come across. naturally i fell in love with them. i could never be with them for social reasons, but i continued to admire them from afar. i ended up contacting them one day and we spent a year getting to know each other and working together. the thing is, they ended up having to move away recently, meaning i would likely never see them again (plus, i believe they recently got engaged).

i can't stop thinking about them even now. no matter what i do to try to distract myself, they always come back to haunt me. i can't go anywhere or do anything without being reminded of them. everything and everyone in the world seems so awful compared to them, like now that i've lost them there's no point in going on. it's like they've somehow poisoned me, infecting every inch of me and leading me to ruin. i don't know if i'll ever be able to meet someone as wonderful as them ever again, and i worry that every person i come across is just going to end up being compared to them. i don't know if i'll ever escape from them.

i will admit that i have obsessive tendencies and i likely would have polluted them with my ugliness if we'd gotten any closer. but i long for them anyways, and i know i'll never be with them. i just want to escape from this, and death seems like the only option right now. i realize that killing yourself over love is fairly common and seen as something that's not worth it, but i can't get the suicidal urges out of my mind. i just want to be at peace.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Who approached who? You or him ??? Because it's fascinating to me to hear why would anyone pursue someone and then change their minds unless if there was someone ( a third part) who had to go out of their way to make sure they leave you? There are some crazies out there who would do anything to make sure that they destroy every relationship that you might have because deep down they are not happy with their lives or they are just plain evil and have rotten mouths (With intent to destroy everything) like what my mum always says…. However if you were the one to pursue them first then I would recommend you to forget about them but if you didn't and they are the one who pursued you first then you can reach out to them. Anyway I wish you peace and healing in your journey….

 

[TeflonMummy]

Now I'm going to start with mentioning it's my personal belief that you shouldn't live for someone else, and you shouldn't die for them either. I recently lost someone who I probably viewed like you did for that soul. The weeks ahead are going to feel like the longest of your life. There's no way around that. Every day I still look at my method and ask myself the same questions you're asking yourself right now. There isn't anything guaranteed in this world. Loneliness is a problem that requires someone else to help you. In an ever increasing independent world it seems like the odds of that happening for us are getting more and more unlikely everyday.

Whether you choose to keep taking opportunities rests solely on you. The world never stops changing, and while that destroys some of the great things in our lives, it will also usher in the things that change them for the better.

You don't have to live for anything, at any time pick your day, and be comforted in the fact that you can control it. I hope you can find the peace you're looking for, here or elsewhere.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Now I'm going to start with mentioning it's my personal belief that you shouldn't live for someone else, and you shouldn't die for them either. I recently lost someone who I probably viewed like you did for that soul. The weeks ahead are going to feel like the longest of your life. There's no way around that. Every day I still look at my method and ask myself the same questions you're asking yourself right now. There isn't anything guaranteed in this world. Loneliness is a problem that requires someone else to help you. In an ever increasing independent world it seems like the odds of that happening for us are getting more and more unlikely everyday.

Whether you choose to keep taking opportunities rests solely on you. The world never stops changing, and while that destroys some of the great things in our lives, it will also usher in the things that change them for the better.

You don't have to live for anything, at any time pick your day, and be comforted in the fact that you can control it. I hope you can find the peace you're looking for, here or elsewhere.

I agree with this I would never end my life because of a man regardless of how much I like them … For my case it's a lot of different factors and problems that I just want to escape from this hell and be at peace. If it was only for a man , not in any lifetime… I just hate existing and the existence itself to me it's a chore…..

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

I got rejected by my crush
But its because her mother brainwashed her
I cant handle this because i love my crush more than me
I will ctb because love too

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm not doubting that this person was very special but- do you think you might be prone to limerance? That obsessive side of it sounds similar to that.

It's a terrible cliche but I'd say time will likely help. I've had a few obsessive crushes- which felt overwhelming at the time- and that they were likely to last forever. Granted- they did take years to get over but now- I truly feel very little towards them. Regret and pitty for myself perhaps that they made me so unhappy and lasted for so long but ultimately-- I don' think we can entirely help how we feel. I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[feder]

I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same about a person for around 4 years. It really seemed to me that they were the best most beautiful person I will ever meet and we were meant to be. Despite them not returning my feelings I still deeply cared for them and tried my best to be supportive and useful. They did not appreciate any of it, eventually I figured out that they are also human and not perfect at all. I also genuinely loved them, but talking form personal experience, the image you have in your head of the person is not the person, creating an idealized version of them is really easy for someone with obsessive tendencies such as you or me. But I think you shouldn't let them or what happened between you two define you and influence you to that degree. Hopefully it gets better over time, and you stop feeling like this. Wish you the best!

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really painful what you have to endure, existence certainly is so torturous and of course it's understandable wishing to finally be at peace from all the suffering. But anyway best wishes.