goodoldnoname923
Wanting to find peace
- Mar 28, 2024
- 490
Why was i so toxic to her? She was my world but i treat her like shit…i was just reading back old messages about us and how i wanted everything to be about me and how she scarfied everything for me…and i think I'm starting to realise why she won't come back…why she doesn't trust me…why she loved him and never me
All these months (and worst part about is some part of my mind seems to still think its true) I thought he was manipulating her…that he was using her when the reality was…i've become so self absorbed and focused on myself that I didn't even stop to consider how she felt at all
I snapped on her,i yelled at her,i abused her,i neglected and undermined her feelings…i did so much more i dont even realise or probably not even fucking seen but how could i treat someone i cared about so much like they were shit complete and utter shit and some how I can't face it…I can't accept it…I can't come to terms with it…and i keep trying to find reasons or explainations to try and understand or figure out WHY i was like this and I constantly feel or believe i've figured out these reason's but they never seem to come to fruition
Apparently she's happier now,she's much safer and i wish I could've been like that and been that way for her but i was so unhappy within myself within my life within my past within everything i just…idk
Took her for granted…wanted more but wasn't sure what? I really don't know
All these months (and worst part about is some part of my mind seems to still think its true) I thought he was manipulating her…that he was using her when the reality was…i've become so self absorbed and focused on myself that I didn't even stop to consider how she felt at all
I snapped on her,i yelled at her,i abused her,i neglected and undermined her feelings…i did so much more i dont even realise or probably not even fucking seen but how could i treat someone i cared about so much like they were shit complete and utter shit and some how I can't face it…I can't accept it…I can't come to terms with it…and i keep trying to find reasons or explainations to try and understand or figure out WHY i was like this and I constantly feel or believe i've figured out these reason's but they never seem to come to fruition
Apparently she's happier now,she's much safer and i wish I could've been like that and been that way for her but i was so unhappy within myself within my life within my past within everything i just…idk
Took her for granted…wanted more but wasn't sure what? I really don't know
