Discussion Looking back on life

[VitezslavNezval]

If you look back on your life, before the point it became unliveable suffering, was it at least fun sometimes? Was there any day you said to yourself "what a good day to be alive"? Is there anything you don't regret?

I don't know what to think about my life, I dont have much memories from childhood and adolescence

 

[LetMeOut67]

It's not been all bad but certainly not enough happy times to compensate for the misery it's permanently been for so so long now

 

[secretghost]

what a nice thoughtful question. I also lack a lot of my childhood memories but I know that I've been suicidal since I was in first grade. I think knowing deep down I will die by suicide eventually has caused me to find random periods of time in which I especially have good days and think it's nice to be alive just because I'm thinking about how fleeting life if and how the truly good moments are sometimes rare but in my opinion every time I'm alive long enough to experience another good day I'm like Nice. I know when I am dead I won't miss anything but I sometimes find myself missing things ahead of time.

 

[ReadyToGoNow2023]

I've loads of times that were fun, load sof good memories.. it isn't enough for me now. The living inside me is already gone.
It's like a painful wait now.

 

[TAW122]

There were some times of pleasure during my more than three decades of sentience, and sure, there were times where I briefly enjoyed the activities or fleeting pleasures. However, such times, as they are, are fleeting and does not justify the continued sentience and gamble for potentially worse suffering. Therefore, I've remembered the good times, but also brace myself that one day I will (and hopefully successfully) CTB on my own terms and no longer gamble for potentially worse suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence was never something positive for me rather it's something that just causes and brings suffering and I wish I never suffered in this existence I always saw as the most terrible, dreadful and cruel mistake more than anything, I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed and I suffer simply from existing.

I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I want is to never exist ever again, I'll always see it as so terrible to be burdened with this existence with no limit as to how much one can suffer, for me existence itself really is always the problem and I'd never wish for the pain, suffering, cruelty and torture of existing and as long as I exist I'll only hope for the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep where finally all is gone.