struggles_inc
life is a highway and i wanna wreck my car
- Jun 24, 2023
- 471
Hey everyone. I haven't posted anything for about 4 months and haven't actively posted for more than a year I think.
Things have been weird. I'm writing this with flu-like symptoms from crying so much. It's a shame to admit, but nobody has ever gotten me to cry as much as my girlfriend has. I'll talk about it.
First of all, the good stuff. I got into my dream university, one of the top 100 most prestigious in the world. My major is law. It's my second degree. Also, I'm opening up my company in a new country.
The downside is that I'm currently studying at two universities at once, and working on my business at the same time. Sometimes I have to take long trips, because my unis are in different cities. I'm almost finished with my first degree though — my supervisor finally liked my master's thesis.
Then, the bad stuff. My home country is close to collapse, with new restrictive laws coming every day. It's really scary to think about. Really scary to set foot in there.
My health is slowly declining. I'm experiencing shortness of breath, dizziness, heart pain. Sometimes I feel close to fainting. I'm going to a cardiologist soon to see what's wrong. I have a genetic condition I was aware about but never did anything to fix it for a decade, and I guess it's come to bite me.
The money is scarce. Every time I fix a budget hole, another problem makes an appearance. Some of my employees seem to exploit my tolerance for mistakes, they just started doing personal projects on paid time, resulting in client negotiations being frozen for months. I'm actually so happy that I'm opening business in a different country now. I can just tell these people to go fuck themselves, start over. Despite everything, I am hopeful.
There's also a relationship problem. My girlfriend. I love her to death. She lives in my rental apartment, and I basically pay for almost everything. I never talk about it because she is very upset that she doesn't bring income, although she doesn't exactly work and does her freelance stuff only when inspiration hits her. For me inspiration is luxury. For her it's a necessity, I suppose. She's autistic and very emotionally volatile. On a bad week she breaks up with me a few times a day. Today she drove me to tears because she kept saying hurtful words about my appearance. She apologised, but the hurt never went anywhere.
I'm still not exactly suicidal. Although my worsening heart condition reminded me of death. I wasn't scared. To be honest, I kind of welcome it.
I wouldn't mind having a terminal heart condition. Guess I'll see in a few days. Not sure if I will keep posting though.
Hope my vent wasn't too boring.
Things have been weird. I'm writing this with flu-like symptoms from crying so much. It's a shame to admit, but nobody has ever gotten me to cry as much as my girlfriend has. I'll talk about it.
First of all, the good stuff. I got into my dream university, one of the top 100 most prestigious in the world. My major is law. It's my second degree. Also, I'm opening up my company in a new country.
The downside is that I'm currently studying at two universities at once, and working on my business at the same time. Sometimes I have to take long trips, because my unis are in different cities. I'm almost finished with my first degree though — my supervisor finally liked my master's thesis.
Then, the bad stuff. My home country is close to collapse, with new restrictive laws coming every day. It's really scary to think about. Really scary to set foot in there.
My health is slowly declining. I'm experiencing shortness of breath, dizziness, heart pain. Sometimes I feel close to fainting. I'm going to a cardiologist soon to see what's wrong. I have a genetic condition I was aware about but never did anything to fix it for a decade, and I guess it's come to bite me.
The money is scarce. Every time I fix a budget hole, another problem makes an appearance. Some of my employees seem to exploit my tolerance for mistakes, they just started doing personal projects on paid time, resulting in client negotiations being frozen for months. I'm actually so happy that I'm opening business in a different country now. I can just tell these people to go fuck themselves, start over. Despite everything, I am hopeful.
There's also a relationship problem. My girlfriend. I love her to death. She lives in my rental apartment, and I basically pay for almost everything. I never talk about it because she is very upset that she doesn't bring income, although she doesn't exactly work and does her freelance stuff only when inspiration hits her. For me inspiration is luxury. For her it's a necessity, I suppose. She's autistic and very emotionally volatile. On a bad week she breaks up with me a few times a day. Today she drove me to tears because she kept saying hurtful words about my appearance. She apologised, but the hurt never went anywhere.
I'm still not exactly suicidal. Although my worsening heart condition reminded me of death. I wasn't scared. To be honest, I kind of welcome it.
I wouldn't mind having a terminal heart condition. Guess I'll see in a few days. Not sure if I will keep posting though.
Hope my vent wasn't too boring.
