Long Time Lurker

[-Ace-]

I'm 35, male and from England in the UK.

I have been a long time lurker on the site and eventually decided to join up. I have been severely physically disabled since a young age and I suffer from Spastic Paraplegia and Chronic Pain Syndrome.

I am on a heavy cocktail of medication including morphine and fentanyl patches but I'm at the point now where I am thinking it'll be better to not be here any more.

I'm also stuck living at home with an extremely mentally abusive mother and we don't get along at all. I feel so lost and I'm in pain 24/7.

I tried to CTB a year or so ago but when trying to hang myself, the rope broke. I'm thinking the next thing to try is a morphine and fentanyl overdose but I'm really worried about pain, which is stupid considering the amount I live with each day.

 

[hot]

I have been a long time lurker on the site and eventually decided to join up.

Welcome broski

 

[willitpass]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. Living in so much pain daily sounds awful.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be so horrible what you are going through and it really sounds like you've suffered so unbearably. But anyway best wishes.

 

[carac]

You shouldn't feel stupid I suffered with severe chronic pain but was also scared of the pain. I had to try partial kneeling because standing was too painful for me even though it didn't really matter if I was going to die anyway. I'm in England too down in the South East

 

[iloverachel]

I wish you peace friend

 

[Dayrain]

Thank you for introducing yourself.

 

[-Ace-]

Thank you for the welcome, guys and girls.

 

[Linda]

Welcome to the site. If you have specific questions, there will probably be someone here with enough relevant experience to be able to answer them. All you have to do is ask.
As regards your failed attempt, can't you just buy a stronger rope and try again?

 

[persimmon]

I'm 35, male and from England in the UK.

I have been a long time lurker on the site and eventually decided to join up. I have been severely physically disabled since a young age and I suffer from Spastic Paraplegia and Chronic Pain Syndrome.

I am on a heavy cocktail of medication including morphine and fentanyl patches but I'm at the point now where I am thinking it'll be better to not be here any more.

I'm also stuck living at home with an extremely mentally abusive mother and we don't get along at all. I feel so lost and I'm in pain 24/7.

I tried to CTB a year or so ago but when trying to hang myself, the rope broke. I'm thinking the next thing to try is a morphine and fentanyl overdose but I'm really worried about pain, which is stupid considering the amount I live with each day.

Welcome aboard. There are quite a few of us with chronic pain so here at least you are not alone.

 

[Abyssal]

Welcome to this hellhole. It's easy to want to come here to get your ticket out, but we have many people with interesting stories, so don't sleep on our recovery section either!

That said, even if you aren't here to get better, I hope you feel welcome in our little hell corner of the internet. It's easy to get attached here, at least it was when I went from lurking to joining.