BlazingBob
Mage
- Oct 28, 2021
- 531
I'm too exhausted and sick to be social and my family are a bunch of assholes. I want nothing more than to be dead. The sooner the better. I should've done it 20 years ago.
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i feel exactly the same..I'm too exhausted and sick to be social and my family are a bunch of assholes. I want nothing more than to be dead. The sooner the better. I should've done it 20 years ago.
i feel this.i feel exactly the same..
Its hard actually doing it man.. i know i can sit here and talk all day about it but once u start fasting it gets tougher and tougher.
I've been lonely now for pretty much my entire life and while I have enjoyed loneliness a lot I think it also comes with heavy downsides..
we're humans and we're pretty much designed to be in a group enviroment. Being alone is like the very opposite of what were designed to be.
I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okayA recurring theme I have seen on this forum is persistent and profound loneliness. There are many members who have no companionship or connections in their lives at all, always alone and isolated. Others may have some relationships in their lives, but still feel alienated or neglected.
Some have shared that their seclusion has directly caused their suicidality. Some have stated that loneliness exacerbates it. Being suicidal is in itself often a lonely experience, resulting in ostracism and struggling to find understanding. I truly feel that SS is an important lifeline for us. I have encountered nowhere else we can discuss suicidality, systemic exclusion and social rejection so candidly.
The palpable desolation and soul crushing despair that many of us feel is unfathomable to those with healthy, loving support networks. I often find personally that people do not understand that going out and cultivating these connections is not always possible.
As such, I decided to create a Megathread for this subject. The aim is for those who are lonely in life to have a space where they can vent their frustrations, discuss their positions with others in a similar situation and support each other - perhaps even connecting with one another in the process (and becoming a little less lonely as a result).
You can post as much or as little as you like. I will always try my best to check in regularly, both to share and to respond to others.
I'll start by saying that I have always found it difficult to create and subsequently maintain connections, and have long suspected that I am autistic. I have no family and no friends. I am fortunate to have a boyfriend. Although I truly appreciate him, due to the the extent of my illnesses I feel very alone in the world, especially since my symptoms are routinely dismissed and undermined by peers and professionals alike. I often feel like such a burden that it means we do not have a typical relationship, as it revolves around my limitations when we are together. I am awaiting the day he eventually leaves to pursue a balanced relationship, and I truthfully would not blame him if he chooses to separate. I cannot even fulfill his needs romantically due to my illnesses and Complex PTSD, and the guilt of that crushes me.
I spend most of my life housebound, and a large proportion of it bedbound. SS is the only thing I have resembling a social network.
My hope for this thread is that some of us may find even a little bit of solace and solidarity from each other.
Staff will monitor this thread to ensure it stays on topic and is a safe, supportive space for those who participate.
I wish there was some way for us to recognize each other. I want just that as well.I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay
I want someone to hold me and tell me it'll be okay. Simultaneously don't want anyone to because feelings of shame.I wish there was some way for us to recognize each other. I want just that as well.
Me too. I don't want anyone to know IRL because I feel ashamed feeling like thatI just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay
I feel this so much. I'm in a metaphorical car going down the road watching the life i had in the rear view window and my destination now is death. If I didn't have to beg people to see me I would be able to stop the car and get out, but now know there's no way the car will ever start. At least I'll be freeI think one of the worst feelings there is is seeing all these people but being so deeply lonely and untethered to the world
I matter to no one and my existence is that on the back burner of everyone's lives
Only sticking around for my partner and I feel like eventually that last thread tethering me here will snap too.... I am drifting further and further away from anyone's reach
It sucks to be dancing around the inevitable, wishing I'd matter enough for someone to grab my hand and walk with me through this life
I think the only regret I will carry when I die is that I wish I mattered in life. Like truly mattered, not the way faux optimists say everyone does. Like that someone would run to my side if I needed help. Or that I was the person someone thought of and wanted to spend time with.
Instead I am the one always chasing, always begging for people to see me.
I'm tired of running
i've pretty much always been lonely. now, i don't even want friends. i have nothing to talk about or do. i need to be alone so i can ctb in peace when it's timeA recurring theme I have seen on this forum is persistent and profound loneliness. There are many members who have no companionship or connections in their lives at all, always alone and isolated. Others may have some relationships in their lives, but still feel alienated or neglected.
Some have shared that their seclusion has directly caused their suicidality. Some have stated that loneliness exacerbates it. Being suicidal is in itself often a lonely experience, resulting in ostracism and struggling to find understanding. I truly feel that SS is an important lifeline for us. I have encountered nowhere else we can discuss suicidality, systemic exclusion and social rejection so candidly.
The palpable desolation and soul crushing despair that many of us feel is unfathomable to those with healthy, loving support networks. I often find personally that people do not understand that going out and cultivating these connections is not always possible.
As such, I decided to create a Megathread for this subject. The aim is for those who are lonely in life to have a space where they can vent their frustrations, discuss their positions with others in a similar situation and support each other - perhaps even connecting with one another in the process (and becoming a little less lonely as a result).
You can post as much or as little as you like. I will always try my best to check in regularly, both to share and to respond to others.
I'll start by saying that I have always found it difficult to create and subsequently maintain connections, and have long suspected that I am autistic. I have no family and no friends. I am fortunate to have a boyfriend. Although I truly appreciate him, due to the the extent of my illnesses I feel very alone in the world, especially since my symptoms are routinely dismissed and undermined by peers and professionals alike. I often feel like such a burden that it means we do not have a typical relationship, as it revolves around my limitations when we are together. I am awaiting the day he eventually leaves to pursue a balanced relationship, and I truthfully would not blame him if he chooses to separate. I cannot even fulfill his needs romantically due to my illnesses and Complex PTSD, and the guilt of that crushes me.
I spend most of my life housebound, and a large proportion of it bedbound. SS is the only thing I have resembling a social network.
My hope for this thread is that some of us may find even a little bit of solace and solidarity from each other.
Staff will monitor this thread to ensure it stays on topic and is a safe, supportive space for those who participate.