Discussion Living just to watch people have the things you dreamed of is torture for my mind

[fkyou]

Being alive and seeing everyone have the things I wanted to have just makes me angry horrible and want to cut my consciousness instead of witnessing these things.does anyone relate?. it's not simple as people think,like jealousy, it's existential dread.
It's even worse with social media,you see it clear and solidifies your opinions.

 

[astr4]

for me it's a combination of jealousy and also grief, because once upon a time i had so much potential and i could have!!! really had all that!!!! or maybe i'm just lying to myself and it was always out of reach for me... it's painful to see where other people my age are, and then looking back to see where i am.

 

[thronesick]

one hundred fucking percent. it's so incredibly gut wrenching like surface level envy can't even compare to the feeling of watching from the sidelines as someone walks a path that's linear and get everything that i want. like seeing that doesn't make me ambitious like it just further affirms that i have failed. i keep telling myself i don't want to die i just don't want to live this life but like seeing someone live the life i yearn for is demoralizing.

 

[fkyou]

one hundred fucking percent. it's so incredibly gut wrenching like surface level envy can't even compare to the feeling of watching from the sidelines as someone walks a path that's linear and get everything that i want. like seeing that doesn't make me ambitious like it just further affirms that i have failed. i keep telling myself i don't want to die i just don't want to live this life but like seeing someone live the life i yearn for is demoralizing.

man... people have gone crazy (mainly family).. they'd see someone fail in a big chapter of their life like job. mental health.and still convince them that they need to keep going.at this point it sounds like they are crying for themselves not that person,not because they don't believe that person's life got fked up.like what part of "I'm traumatized after years of severe mental illness"you don't understand?I don't wanna build anything upon this.im fed up with bullshit. They add more mental anguish to that person.

 

[Peace2peace]

I can relate especially when u are growing older

 

[thronesick]

man... people have gone crazy (mainly family).. they'd see someone fail in a big chapter of their life like job. mental health.and still convince them that they need to keep going.at this point it sounds like they are crying for themselves not that person,not because they don't believe that person's life got fked up.like what part of "I'm traumatized after years of severe mental illness"you don't understand?I don't wanna build anything upon this.im fed up with bullshit. They add more mental anguish to that person.

this!! exactly!! i just remember like my teacher junior year telling us we need to have grit in order to be successful if you give up when you fail then you will go nowhere and i'm sorry but like no. there's a reason i'm failing i can't be that person. mental illness keeps you from success and stalls you from resilience. it's fucking brain eating.

 

[princejohnny]

Yes! This is one of the many reasons I want to ctb. Sitting on the sidelines of my own life is just too much to bear and there's nothing I can do about it. My life is beyond repair at this point.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I really understand, it can be mind blowing to see that others peoples have a great life when you're just there, suffering.