h4ppyhypoxia
Student
- Aug 8, 2026
- 161
what helps you get through the day? even if its something small?
i feel like im waiting in limbo, i move out in exactly 3 weeks, ill be able to get everything in order for my exit there, but waiting is genuinely hell, it was a bit "easier" to wait before because i was still in the planning stage, i still had a bit to learn about my desired method, so my days were filled with scanning the internet for all the information about it, but now, ive read the entire inert gas megathread, the pph, random medical journals about inert gas, and i dont feel like theres much more information out there, i have my plan, i solved all my practical issues around it, im literally just waiting to put it into place, part of me is worried "what if i struggle to put it together!!" but ik ill be able to, so realistically that would only add a small delay in the worst case scenario
it feels like im wasting my last few weeks because im not really doing much, im too tired, ive made efforts to see my friends, the only thing left to do is write notes to those i care about (which im not even sure if i want to do anymore) and get everything set up (which i have to wait for)
ive tried starting a new tv show but i just have no interest in anything, i know im truly ready to leave, the wait doesnt even really "hurt" much more, it just feels like a dull emptiness, things that would usually upset me dont get to me as much, because i feel like when you know youre going to die, things just arent that serious, everything still hurts, but it cant hurt me as much because if everything gets shipped fast, this time next month, i wont even be here to experience these things anymore
any little things that bring you at least some joy youd recommend? i have my plushies (im 19, as an autistic guy these have ALWAYS brought me comfort despite it being "childish" and even tho theyre not alive im sad im leaving them) but not really much outside of that, im allowing myself a bit more freedom around food because ive had a restrictive eating disorder for a while, so its kind of exciting to eat things i didnt allow myself to before, even if guilt kicks in soon after
i feel like im waiting in limbo, i move out in exactly 3 weeks, ill be able to get everything in order for my exit there, but waiting is genuinely hell, it was a bit "easier" to wait before because i was still in the planning stage, i still had a bit to learn about my desired method, so my days were filled with scanning the internet for all the information about it, but now, ive read the entire inert gas megathread, the pph, random medical journals about inert gas, and i dont feel like theres much more information out there, i have my plan, i solved all my practical issues around it, im literally just waiting to put it into place, part of me is worried "what if i struggle to put it together!!" but ik ill be able to, so realistically that would only add a small delay in the worst case scenario
it feels like im wasting my last few weeks because im not really doing much, im too tired, ive made efforts to see my friends, the only thing left to do is write notes to those i care about (which im not even sure if i want to do anymore) and get everything set up (which i have to wait for)
ive tried starting a new tv show but i just have no interest in anything, i know im truly ready to leave, the wait doesnt even really "hurt" much more, it just feels like a dull emptiness, things that would usually upset me dont get to me as much, because i feel like when you know youre going to die, things just arent that serious, everything still hurts, but it cant hurt me as much because if everything gets shipped fast, this time next month, i wont even be here to experience these things anymore
any little things that bring you at least some joy youd recommend? i have my plushies (im 19, as an autistic guy these have ALWAYS brought me comfort despite it being "childish" and even tho theyre not alive im sad im leaving them) but not really much outside of that, im allowing myself a bit more freedom around food because ive had a restrictive eating disorder for a while, so its kind of exciting to eat things i didnt allow myself to before, even if guilt kicks in soon after
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