Venting life sucks

[brainwormz]

everytime i see that she has blocked me on another app / account i get super suicidal. a year ago it was twitter/main a month ago it was twitter/priv and today it was discord. i just wanted to stay firends. she saidf we would. but here we are. not frient and not partners and not in wachothers lives. she meant the world to me. she is the only person in this godforsaken city i know. and it hurts so fucking much. I have a fucking girlfriend who want to move here but im still suicidal over violet. it's been two years since we split. i want to buy an off button and press it so fucking much. i just don't see any point in living. everyone throws me away sooner or later. it's only a matter of time till my current sqeeze does it too. all i want is violet to be in my life. i don't wanna fuck her i just want her to be here. that's all i fucking want
i wish i could hate her like the rapist i dated when i mooved here but the onlyu thing she did wrong was say hi to me when we met in that psychward 3 years ago. xcfgdb;klhjbndjk.mfsng.bhjknlxdfslk.jbhhgfdlk.,jsbcgbvnlkjxdsfacbjkgl;vkl;jsbdahfgbhnvjkl;iousdf

 

[brainwormz]

well sbc is out fuck can't count on anyone to kill you these days. i hate being poor. suicide is so hard when you can't afford an off button.