life does not really bring joy but too scared to die

[sanan23]

i have literally nothing that excites me and makes me happy or gives me purpose. i dont hate myself so i am not suicidal in that sense, i just want to die cuz everything feels so pointless and boring. However, i am too scared to go through with it because im scared if the attempt fails and of the pain (my method of choice is sn).

 

[PrismHon]

I can totally get that. For no excitement/joy, they call it anhedonia right?

The "want to die" vs "scared to attempt it" is I expect what most of us have in common here. Takes a lot of balls to follow through, no doubt about it!

 

[DivineSpark]

Sounds like you are experiencing anhedonia.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I also find it so futile and undesirable to exist and I just wish I never suffered more than anything, I'd also fear trying to cease existing going wrong, I always suffer from how I cannot just cease existing peacefully and never exist again, I wish you the best.

 

[sanan23]

I can totally get that. For no excitement/joy, they call it anhedonia right?

The "want to die" vs "scared to attempt it" is I expect what most of us have in common here. Takes a lot of balls to follow through, no doubt about it!

ive attempted before and it failed and it was hell so i dont want to go through that again. everyone says sn is super reliable but idk.

Sounds like you are experiencing anhedonia.

i dont know how to stop'

Sounds like you are experiencing anhedonia.

i dont know how to stop'

 

[ketopia]

Have you tried medications? There may be a chemical reason you're not able to experience joy. I know it's a long process and takes money and trial and error, but it's worth a shot if you love yourself enough to try.