How do you deal/feel about leaving your kids behind? I was going through stuff yesterday cleaning things out and came across some things my kids gave me for Father's Day before and it tore me up. Thinking about leaving them in this world. This life and world are hard enough for me. Then put the guilt of leaving them tears me up even more. They are the only reason I am still here. They are the only reason I've made it this far. I feel guilty for even thinking about CTB. Then when I pick them up from school and I see the smiles on their faces. I'm in constant pain in this world until I see or hear them. But then when they are gone it starts all over. The only time I am truly happy is when they are nearby but I know in a few years they will be on their own in this huge cruel world.
アホペンギン
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- Jul 10, 2023
- 2,199
There is actually no way to deal with it. Even if you hate them with a passion, they are your own children and it will hurt to leave them and at the same time know that they'll react horribly to the situation. The best thing to do in this case would require your past self to do something ; to not have kids at all but I won't hold it against you. I hope you can manage to figure something out someday and I sincerely hope your kids don't have a hard time dealing with your passing and the cruel world they live in. Best wishes.
MyChoiceAlone
sleep deprived and/or drunk
- Jul 23, 2023
- 1,212
they sound pretty young. is their mother still there? will they be provided for?
does watching a video of them or maybe even some audio recordings help with your pain?
MyChoiceAlone
sleep deprived and/or drunk
- Jul 23, 2023
- 1,212
nobody can tell you what to do. it will be all up to you - whatever choice you decide. at least you love your kids. there have been worse cases i'm sure. not writing here to push you one way or the other. can't tell you how to overcome the guilt factor either. all i can say really is that i hope you give it your best considerations and i hope you make the best of every moment with them.
Amelie
Member
- Aug 12, 2023
- 97
If you want to chat to a fellow parent then feel free to DM me x
lavender143once
Member
- Aug 6, 2023
- 26
If I lost my father at a young age to suicide, I'd hope my mother tells me he didn't cbt, maybe he had a heart attack instead. I'd be devastated if I was told the truth because I'd blame myself for what he'd done. If I was told after sometime (years) the real reason my father passed, I might understand and forgive him just because of how fucked up the world is.
If you believe you truly are meant to leave this world, you'll find peace when thinking if your kids. Once you're ready to leave, you won't feel regret, you'll truly be at peace.
If you believe you truly are meant to leave this world, you'll find peace when thinking if your kids. Once you're ready to leave, you won't feel regret, you'll truly be at peace.
My kids know that I have tried to CTB before. I don't think I can do it without them knowing the truth.
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