Leaving behind a note

[dinosaurcat]

I want to leave letters behind for my loved ones and a professor of mine. I would have to give it to them in advance before I ctb. How do I make sure they don't read it before I attempt?

 

[bennay]

Is mailing them an option?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Scheduled e-mails seem to be the go-to. I'll be leaving a short note in the basedment, for family to find.

 

[8evergo]

werde mein Handy mitnehmen um mit mir zu springen schreibe meinen Leuten ich will mein Handy gleich runterwerfen dann springe ich

 

[Chockles]

My parents know I want to ctb. They support my decision as can see I'm physically in agony now living with them. But there's so much more I want to tell them as I've had such a difficult relationship with my mum as I have always had physical issues but didn't realise until only recently I have traits of autism & adhd. I've tried talking to them about it but it just makes my mum cry she feels she has failed me. They gave me love in different ways my brain just saw it as nagging or interfering. I can see now how much they loved me but how mental trauma has also added to my physical decline. I do feel mum could have done things differently but it's not her fault. My diagnosed triple x syndrome at 16 she was told it gave me development delays if grow out of & just made me tall. That's all I was told & I never thought to question it until it was too late.
So I intend to leave them a note in advance in an envelope & told them to only give to police if they want to share it if it helps them with their grief process as I know it's my physical that is the driving force for my suicide but I know anxiety, mental ilness & dug addiction will be blamed by everyone else & I need them to know that it's my physical that drove my decision & that I've always loved them. I know my mental health plays a part but I don't want it blamed for everything. My parents live in a small town where everyone will talk once I've passed. It's important for me to let them know my mental status never once drove me to suicide ideation so that they have evidence to share if they choose to.

My parents know I want to ctb. They support my decision as can see I'm physically in agony now living with them. But there's so much more I want to tell them as I've had such a difficult relationship with my mum as I have always had physical issues but didn't realise until only recently I have traits of autism & adhd. I've tried talking to them about it but it just makes my mum cry she feels she has failed me. They gave me love in different ways my brain just saw it as nagging or interfering. I can see now how much they loved me but how mental trauma has also added to my physical decline. I do feel mum could have done things differently but it's not her fault. My diagnosed triple x syndrome at 16 she was told it gave me development delays if grow out of & just made me tall. That's all I was told & I never thought to question it until it was too late.
So I intend to leave them a note in advance in an envelope & told them to only give to police if they want to share it if it helps them with their grief process as I know it's my physical that is the driving force for my suicide but I know anxiety, mental ilness & dug addiction will be blamed by everyone else & I need them to know that it's my physical that drove my decision & that I've always loved them. I know my mental health plays a part but I don't want it blamed for everything. My parents live in a small town where everyone will talk once I've passed. It's important for me to let them know my mental status never once drove me to suicide ideation so that they have evidence to share if they choose to.

But I've ripped letter up so many times. It's so hard to get it across without making my mum feel she's failed me more . I have to ctb soon. I'm getting N ordered next week. They can't cope with my suffering either bed ridden scared to leave me alone I'm destroying the remainder of their lives too. it's best for everyone not just me to ctb yet until I've written this letter effectively I feel my own guilt will stop me leaving this planet.

 

[dinosaurcat]

I was thinking of doing a scheduled email, but I really wanted to give them hand written notes. I think I should the over whole physical note thing

Scheduled e-mails seem to be the go-to. I'll be leaving a short note in the basedment, for family to find.

Is mailing them an option?

Definitely an option, but I wanted to leave behind a ring of mine for each one of them. Can't really do that through an email :(

 

[91Days]

Not email. Mail them in real life

 

[dinosaurcat]

Not email. Mail them in real life

I don't know my professors postal address. I don't think I can get it without sounding creepy

 

[91Days]

I don't know my professors postal address. I don't think I can get it without sounding creepy

The most you can do is to send a scheduled email then