please share your last thought before you tried to CTB
(and ultimately failed—cuz ur here)
I'm really curious as to what you are/were thinking at that time
I don't remember really
I know I felt sad and scared
But I felt a need to prove I'm not a punk
I remember pouring antifreeze and ginger ale in a cup
I drank as much as I could
The taste was weird and it felt thick
I gagged a bit trying to gulp down more
I poured the rest out
I took the antifreeze bottle and took it to the dumpster
I wondered if the security camera by the dumpster would be my last image
I went back in and went to bed as normal
Waking up off and on till the late afternoon where eventually I gave in and got help