Killing yourself because life has nothing to offer to you

[21Neberg]

you mean just losing weight or changing it into muscle mass? I lost 80kg weight but that doesn't look properly either. adding swimming, biking or similar stuff is perfect. I didn't really do sports, I just did alcohol and starving, eating some fast food every 2-3days lol. well now my body's crap but I'm not that unattractive anymore, just need to to some workout

Main goal is to lose the last bits of fat.

 

[Boochky]

I never had a girlfriend friends or sex ever so can't relate with anyone on this site even. I never experienced anything

I'm sorry sweetie. That sounds very lonely.

 

[bigj75]

I at least try to do some good in other people's lives. Become a cop before I ctb. Might save a few people. That's the best I can do.

 

[JustOverIt]

Do you ever feel like everything you do is boring? Do you think working only makes you a wageslave unless you make good money? Do you ever feel like society is too slow developing new scientific knowledge? Like nothing you do is interesting to you, that life is just waiting and waiting and waiting and sleeping?

Sex doesn't pleasure you as much as it used to pleasure you, food doesn't satiate you... most videogames are boring too. What's the point then? Why should I keep living? Even if I have my necessities covered, why shouldn't I kill myself? Do I need to be in pain, do I need to be suffering in order to qualify for suicide? Do I need to be homeless first? I tried sleeping, but I can't sleep more than 12 hours / day and that's not enough for me, 12 waking hours is too much for me.

Should I keep making excuses to justify living? "Oh, wait until they deny your disability benefits." "Oh no, wait until your father dies." "Wait until you don't have any money left." "Wait because you may end up rich when the house is sold!".

Sometimes I just wish life gave me a bad deal so that I would have a good excuse to kill myself. But I am not in that position yet. Should I just stare at my computer screen until I end up homeless and then ctb with the best method available? I need opinions.

Well said, this is the reality of how people like us live. We acknowledge the rationality of suicide and use this insight to shed light on how mundane shit is. To think we as a species could of had a better life if the people running the world didn't just think of their wallets. I find that people love to vomit toxic positivism just to keep the lie alive that their life is not dog shit.

 

[JustOverIt]

I think what you're basically trying to say is - what is the point of living just to exist ?

And to that question I don't know.

Bingo

 

[Ferdinand]

Can you tell me more about what didn't work? I'm a programmer and I find that an awful lot of people come to the conclusion that they are no good at it when they actually would have been fine if they kept going over the humps.

I am a programmer as well, and I feel that I used to be good at it, and used to like it. Now, I can't stand it anymore, and it feels like the technology is passing me by. But I don't have the will to try to keep up with all the new buzzwords. I haven't been happy with work in a while, and realized after my girlfriend left late last year that I wasn't happy with anything. Having her around helped mask it. But now I just feel like I'm passing the time until I get old enough to die. I hang on because I have two children I don't want to hurt, but even while hanging on I've gone crazy, drinking like hell and partying with people half my age, seeking whatever thrill or buzz can make me forget for a moment. But are those fleeting moments of relief worth all the time working and being responsible in between? Right now I think not, but I keep hanging on because maybe this is the weekend I'll bang the bartender. I'm sure it isn't, but "maybe" keeps me going. That, and the kids.

 

[Ferdinand]

every fucking second. everything was boring but after loosing love it's even worse. work can help but it's not easy to find the perfect job so yeah. drugs can be somewhat enjoyable...or just being in the nature for one hour.

for me it's hard to be awake for a long time too, just to wait for another fuckin bad sleep. doesn't matter what I'm eating or how much, it's just mass you put in your mouth and digest, there's no joy in sunbeams and fresh air, watching some movie/series is emotionally stressful...
...
I'm waiting for myself to tell me to finally go and die, while rarely getting a feeling of 'life is good' and "there's stuff I'd like to have/to do"...feeling exhausted from being awake for 6 hours and just laying around...damn give me cocaine to live like a 'normal' human being lol

A-freaking-men. After losing love it is indeed worse. And I couldn't have said the rest of your message any better.

 

[odette]

I am a programmer as well, and I feel that I used to be good at it, and used to like it. Now, I can't stand it anymore, and it feels like the technology is passing me by. But I don't have the will to try to keep up with all the new buzzwords. I haven't been happy with work in a while, and realized after my girlfriend left late last year that I wasn't happy with anything. Having her around helped mask it. But now I just feel like I'm passing the time until I get old enough to die. I hang on because I have two children I don't want to hurt, but even while hanging on I've gone crazy, drinking like hell and partying with people half my age, seeking whatever thrill or buzz can make me forget for a moment. But are those fleeting moments of relief worth all the time working and being responsible in between? Right now I think not, but I keep hanging on because maybe this is the weekend I'll bang the bartender. I'm sure it isn't, but "maybe" keeps me going. That, and the kids.

Did you open up to your girlfriend about how you felt?

 

[Raggas]

My anhedonia will be the death of me. I have barely any hobbies as is. Nothing to look forward to = more desire to CTB.

 

[deflagrat]

Can you tell me more about what didn't work? I'm a programmer and I find that an awful lot of people come to the conclusion that they are no good at it when they actually would have been fine if they kept going over the humps.

Basically, I started learning python on my own and I found out I have a hard time understading stuff. It's not about the language, I have the same problem with everything else.

So when classes began, the teacher started to give lectures about programming, then he assumed everyone got it and he moved on to the next thing. But there I was, without being able to understand anything because I am way too slow. That's when I realized it would be impossible for me to have a job with minimum intelligence quotient (IQ) requirements. My memory is pretty bad too, I forget easily and have a hard time learning because I end up forgetting most of what I learn.

I have 65 % of mental disability and they are giving me 392 € / each month but it's not going to be enough when my parents die.

 

[odette]

Basically, I started learning python on my own and I found out I have a hard time understading stuff. It's not about the language, I have the same problem with everything else.

So when classes began, the teacher started to give lectures about programming, then he assumed everyone got it and he moved on to the next thing. But there I was, without being able to understand anything because I am way too slow. That's when I realized it would be impossible for me to have a job with minimum intelligence quotient (IQ) requirements. My memory is pretty bad too, I forget easily and have a hard time learning because I end up forgetting most of what I learn.

I have 65 % of mental disability and they are giving me 392 € / each month but it's not going to be enough when my parents die.

I didn't get anything at lectures, either. I went and found some books and just studied on my own. Do you like to learn by reading or do you prefer videos?