tinybrokenfingers
Member
- Jul 13, 2025
- 14
anhedonia is nothing new to me. for years now ive struggled with not being able to feel pleasure in one aspect or another throughout my life. but for the past several months, it hasn't been any one particular thing or set of things; it's been everything. eating makes me feel nothing, getting high doesn't improve my mood, even after several weeks in between the times i smoke, sex doesn't feel good, playing video games doesn't help, cutting doesn't offer any relief, seeing my friends doesnt make me feel anything, watching movies, going outside, playing my instruments, journaling, drawing; everything feels like nothing. and it makes me feel like killing myself. im tired of living an unfulfilling life that is so fundamentally miserable that nothing, not even dopamine-releasing carnal pleasures or drugs can solve it. i just wonder "what the fuck is wrong with me", because it really feels like i have a fundamental flaw with my being, my neurotransmitters, my biology, and it's built up in a way to make existing as grueling and miserable as humanly possible. is it really worth it to try and wait this out for an indefinite amount of time? or should i just start planning to end it?
