diazepam7mg
"One day everything will be meaningless"
- Dec 22, 2024
- 6
Im just 18 and im so tired, since the start of my life i was just a marionette i couldnt decide nothing and just forced to live the life they told me to live, my own mother took my house and live here illegaly and i cant do nothing until wait the law to do something but living in such a shitty place where the government dont care about people but just money is hard keep living with the constant tought that i need to wait and wait to just atleast have a place (my own home) where i can stay in peace, work and stress keeps filling me inside and i dont know even how to distract i dont have friends anymore and my gf the only person that was helping me until now is getting tired of me and losing feelings, soon enough i ll prolly be alone completely and i dont think i can keep living with all of this inside me , im tired and i dont find anymore a place in this world, things that i liked and gave me a bit of happiness feels unreal now and boring and i dont have any strenght to think about any plans for the future all i can see is pure pain and pure loneliness and knowing im just 18 and i could live my life peacefully like other people of my age does break me inside. Im tired and i just want a tiny bit of happiness or hope that keeps my days from deep going into the void of desperation , i just want to have peace that peace that calms feelings and that tiny bit of happiness that atleast makes you smile a bit even on the worst days, death is the only tought im having those days and is the only way my mind can think of achieving peace but inside me i dont want to really die there is a part of me that wanna live and want to experience life but everyday i keep going further i just keep getting worse and worse and i dont really know how much i can live with all of this, im just a person that wants peace and knowing that when i feel bad i dont have no one to talk to and the only way to throw away all the things i have in my mind is talking with fucking CHATGPT is sad bcs i know im truly lonely and i cant escape this loop, i hate my past and everytime i do something that look similar of how if i have lived in my past makes me sick and i turn back where i was , i tried talking with real people,i took medicine and i even self harm doesnt do nothing to me. i dont wanna die but going trought i think its the only way for me to fix everything.
