Your reply gives me tears because everything you said, I could have said the exact same.
At my age, what I've been through, I feel robbed. There is no other way to put it. I feel like I'm living in a prison. It sounds like you feel the same. Day is one giant nightmare and at night 1/3 of the time I have very bad nightmares that really mess me up.
The thing is, and it sounds like you, I never did snything wrong in my life. I wouldn't even harm the bugs in the house. I would take them outside rather than squish them,
I've searched every angle to try and make a better situation in my life. The only thing I know that would help is to try and find the oldest pet at the animal shelter and pour everything you have to giving him the best life in his last days. And when the pet passes away, then reevaluate your situation or try and get another pet that will live for a year or two. You will have to set a goal of working X amount to get a new flat, so you can get a pet. I suspect this is the only way to save your life. If you want to be saved. I know this is my only hope.
I personally don't want to be saved but I personally won't ctb until all options have been exhausted. The reason for this is because I had a near death experience. When I was briefly there, I saw how time worked. Time sits still in a manner of speaking. Seeing what I saw gave me courage to exhaust everything I have until I can't take it anymore.
Anyway, just want you to know that you have someone thinking of you. Hoping the best for you.
At my age, what I've been through, I feel robbed. There is no other way to put it. I feel like I'm living in a prison. It sounds like you feel the same. Day is one giant nightmare and at night 1/3 of the time I have very bad nightmares that really mess me up.
The thing is, and it sounds like you, I never did snything wrong in my life. I wouldn't even harm the bugs in the house. I would take them outside rather than squish them,
I've searched every angle to try and make a better situation in my life. The only thing I know that would help is to try and find the oldest pet at the animal shelter and pour everything you have to giving him the best life in his last days. And when the pet passes away, then reevaluate your situation or try and get another pet that will live for a year or two. You will have to set a goal of working X amount to get a new flat, so you can get a pet. I suspect this is the only way to save your life. If you want to be saved. I know this is my only hope.
I personally don't want to be saved but I personally won't ctb until all options have been exhausted. The reason for this is because I had a near death experience. When I was briefly there, I saw how time worked. Time sits still in a manner of speaking. Seeing what I saw gave me courage to exhaust everything I have until I can't take it anymore.
Anyway, just want you to know that you have someone thinking of you. Hoping the best for you.
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