Kid in Mexico

[bb3300]

I know this is going to sound fake/troll but it's a genuine post
I went on vacation with my parents a couple years ago to Mexico. It was an extended vacation where we stayed in this place over the summer, I mostly really did my own thing.
When I was there I met this girl and we started to date. That's when I lost my virginity and I was dumb and inexperienced, she got pregnant. I didn't know till after I left and she messaged me. I blocked her and I always gave her a fake name so she wouldn't try to pull some shit, I was a bit paranoid earlier that she'd try something to get a green card. Messaged me with different accounts with pictures of the kid, I always blocked her and ended up deleting. She tried to find me irl but failed.
I blocked her and said I don't want to see the kid, I don't want to have to deal with him or pay child support and have my life ruined
But sometimes I think it'd be nice to go see him. I feel a little guilt about it.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah, you should be. You decided to fuck her without any protection on and now you are blocking her and trying to keep her away after impregnanting her. That's a pretty shitty thing to do.

 

[bb3300]

Yeah, you should be. You decided to fuck her without any protection on and now you are blocking her and trying to keep her away after impregnanting her. That's a pretty shitty thing to do.

I feel like she should have aborted the kid, so I don't feel too guilty. She had her choice to opt out and didn't follow it, while I did.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I feel like she should have aborted the kid, so I don't feel too guilty. She had her choice to opt out and didn't follow it, while I did.

Dude, fuck off

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I feel like she should have aborted the kid, so I don't feel too guilty. She had her choice to opt out and didn't follow it, while I did.

Touché. She had her choice and... she chose rather poorly

 

[bb3300]

Touché. She had her choice and... she chose rather poorly

Yeah, you're right. I think she had ulterior motives for doing it (let's say getting a certain color card). Now she won't.

 

[Downdraft]

I feel like she should have aborted the kid, so I don't feel too guilty. She had her choice to opt out and didn't follow it, while I did.

You know you can both have part of fault, right? Her choices don't dismiss yours entirely...

 

[noname223]

Holy fucking shit. Can't believe it. But I kinda believe it.

You know you can both have part of fault, right? Her choices don't dismiss yours entirely...

I agree with this take.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Do you even know for sure the kid is yours? Assuming it is, how can she be using you for a green card when you nutted in her yourself? This doesn't make any sense. You can't just assume someone will get an abortion because it's what you want. This is some bizarre reasoning.

 

[Kavka]

Instead of taking responsibility for your own actions, you make up excuses, blame others and think only of how it all affects your own life. That's not the example any child needs in their life. If you want to meet that kid, make sure you actually have something positive to offer, rather than again just thinking about your own feelings and wishes.

 

[Reticent Being]

thx for sharing. interesting perspective. im sure your kid wants to know you whenever you're ready to meet them. On to my reply: Honestly, i think having sex doesnt mean someone consents to having their dna used to make a child. Then again, i also think kids need mutiple loving adult caregivers, not solely their biological dad and mom. An individual would need to say "i do" to get married, yet when it comes to having a human being dependent on someone for at least eighteen years.. who cares who says "yes" and who says "no." It's sad how some people will scare others into having and taking care of a child.

Never gotten impregnated luckily, but i have had something like pregnancy paranoia. I get scared of getting impregnated I remember my first boyfriend. If he were to impregnate me, he expected me to become his unpaid egg donor and surrogate mother. He would say "the kid can stay with me" when his family was toxic and abusive. It was delusional to bring a child up around his mother. I truly believe that no one will ever be asinine enough to reproduce with certain people unless it is forced and against their consent.

There are cost effective methods to prevent and terminate pregnancies, but the knowledge gets lost in my society and culture. I know one of my family members had the tubal litigation procedure and still got pregnant. Personally, i think she could have ended the pregnancy if she was given resources how... if it was okay to say "i dont want to..." When all else fails there should be a method that is certain. The human body wants to reproduce, but that shouldnt mean it has to reproduce without consent from two people

Lastly, giving someone a child on the basis of shared dna and "wanting a baby" isnt logical. I heard someone compare having a child with having an exotic pet. You need to study and gain a license for one, but the other you can have as many as you want with no planning or thought needed.

 

[endofline2010]

Dude, fuck off

That's some tough talk there. Why don't you go be a foster parent if you care so much... But I'm sure you'll have a reason not to.

 

[endofline2010]

Couple of things:
1. @bb3300 - If you're worried about fucking up your life, you should pull out. I didn't use a condom all that much until I had a vasectomy, and never had any kind of pregnancy scare.
2. Don't see the kid. You're not and never will be a father. Not judging, but don't fuck with her and the kid's feelings because you have some kind of guilt. You already fucked up, now you get to live with the consequences. You can't have it both ways. We all have done shit we regret. You don't always get to set things right. Welcome to the real world.
3. Get a vasectomy. It's cheap, and there are plenty of urologists that will do it to an 18 year old, no questions asked. I got mine at 19 and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

 

[samdocheon]

Seems your parents don't know and imho that make a difference.

 

[Esokabat]

Yeah, you're right. I think she had ulterior motives for doing it (let's say getting a certain color card). Now she won't.

You have such insular, delusional thinking. I lived in Mexico and the large majority of Mexicans like living in Mexico and don't want to go live in the US. Most of them have large families and friend circles in Mexico that they would not think leaving. As of 2024, it is a country with almost 130 million people, the vast majority does not want to live in the US.
It is a rather paranoid thinking that all Mexican you meet outside of the US want to have a green card or want to come to US. I think if you think in stereotypes, it is because you have such a basic low-functioning brain that you are not capable of more complex thinking.

Couple of things:
1. @bb3300 - If you're worried about fucking up your life, you should pull out. I didn't use a condom all that much until I had a vasectomy, and never had any kind of pregnancy scare.
2. Don't see the kid. You're not and never will be a father. Not judging, but don't fuck with her and the kid's feelings because you have some kind of guilt. You already fucked up, now you get to live with the consequences. You can't have it both ways. We all have done shit we regret. You don't always get to set things right. Welcome to the real world.
3. Get a vasectomy. It's cheap, and there are plenty of urologists that will do it to an 18 year old, no questions asked. I got mine at 19 and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

I also agree that he should not see the kid. He seems to be a selfish, self-centered, immature person that is already fucked up in the head and will just get the kid more fucked up with his presence, without providing anything positive. You are no father. And you probably never will be. Just stay away from the kid and don't create anymore kids in the world. No kid needs a father like you.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

That's some tough talk there. Why don't you go be a foster parent if you care so much... But I'm sure you'll have a reason not to.

Imagine getting offended over someone telling a dude to fuck off because they keep on making up excuses not to see their own child...

 

[endofline2010]

Imagine getting offended over someone telling a dude to fuck off because they keep on making up excuses not to see their own child...

The one thing I would find it hard to imagine is that my only contribution to a conversation is 'fuck off'... Like I said, you're impacted enough to say that, but I don't see you asking for her number to offer any support at all. In other words, the tough guy talk is an empty gesture, and now you're upset you got called out for it.