Venting Just Want To Be Alone Forever

[vanillamilkshakes]

I just can't with people anymore. No matter how hard I try, there is such a significant distance between me and them. I feel like I've lost all my social skills; I think that everyone else knows something I don't, and I feel abnormal. The only way I can stay alive is to be alone forever, which is irrational, even if you're an introvert. At one point or another, it seems like that loneliness catches up with you. I feel so alone.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm isolated too. No partner, no friends, no coworkers, living alone, silly neighbours, just a cat. I just feel like an alien watching people do normal things, and it's so painful. Most people will say to me : "so what ? Go out ! See people ! Interact !" But I can't. Trapped in isolation. Sometimes I want to give my brain to science after my death because it's fucking sick since my birth. Overthinking is pure hell. Difficult to say with words, but feeling like an alien but with a human appearance.
I wish you peace wathever you decide

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

I'm isolated too. No partner, no friends, no coworkers, living alone, silly neighbours, just a cat. I just feel like an alien watching people do normal things, and it's so painful. Most people will say to me : "so what ? Go out ! See people ! Interact !" But I can't. Trapped in isolation. Sometimes I want to give my brain to science after my death because it's fucking sick since my birth. Overthinking is pure hell. Difficult to say with words, but feeling like an alien but with a human appearance.
I wish you peace wathever you decide

I relate heavily, and thank you for your kind words. When I'm alone, I begin to get slightly hopeless and seem to dream that my social skills are, in fact, not awful. It's a pretty painful reminder whenever I do attempt to interact with others; it's so frustrating.

 

[Duochrome-Seahorse]

I relate a lot with this. I've been trying to improve my social skills for a while and even when I try to make friends, it genuinely feels like they "know" I'm different and they talk to me differently. I don't know what to make of it cuz I hate accusing people of things but it's happened so much in my life that it can't be a coincidence.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I just can't with people anymore. No matter how hard I try, there is such a significant distance between me and them. I feel like I've lost all my social skills; I think that everyone else knows something I don't, and I feel abnormal. The only way I can stay alive is to be alone forever, which is irrational, even if you're an introvert. At one point or another, it seems like that loneliness catches up with you. I feel so alone.

I have a very similar mindset like you, but I wasn't always like that. Years ago I was quite the opposite. I wanted to have friends and relationships, even though I was never truly accepted by anyone because of my Asperger's. Then my chronic pain appeared in my life and made me very asocial person.

 

[Flubber]

@vanillamilkshakes

I get a sense that you're distancing yourself from people in order to protect yourself from getting hurt. You actively seek isolation but you're not truly comfortable with it?

Could this be brought about by fears of abandonment... or maybe because you view yourself as abnormal and question your social skills to the point of paralysing your future?

What evidence do you have that your social skills are so bad that they warrant taking excessive measures that could potentially be fixed?

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

@vanillamilkshakes

I get a sense that you're distancing yourself from people in order to protect yourself from getting hurt. You actively seek isolation but you're not truly comfortable with it?

Could this be brought about by fears of abandonment... or maybe because you view yourself as abnormal and question your social skills to the point of paralysing your future?

What evidence do you have that your social skills are so bad that they warrant taking excessive measures that could potentially be fixed?

I think it's because I've been socially isolated for such a significant period of time. It's strange, when I spend extensive periods of time alone, I seem to begin to improve. It's only when I attempt to go out and socially integrate, I begin to feel 'bad' again. (Hence, mentioning that I feel as if I'd be able to continue living if I lived the rest of my life alone.)

And yes, I've been left so many times in my life, I've almost given up on any hopes of truly connecting with another person; that's probably why I view myself as abnormal. I feel that if so many people have left my life, then I must be the problem; I must be doing something that I'm unconscious of.

As for the evidence that I have that my social skills are so significantly 'bad', it is that many people look unsure around me. It's as if whenever I have to be social, my brain freezes and I become clueless on what to say; often, simple small talk is all I can carry out. It feels as if there is a blockage in my brain, stopping me from getting out my words.

One time, after a significant amount of social isolation, I went to meet an old friend for coffee; embarrassingly, my legs began to shake as we sat across from each other, and feeling humiliated, I blamed it on drinking too much caffeine earlier.

 

[katara]

I'm isolated too. No partner, no friends, no coworkers, living alone, silly neighbours, just a cat. I just feel like an alien watching people do normal things, and it's so painful. Most people will say to me : "so what ? Go out ! See people ! Interact !" But I can't. Trapped in isolation. Sometimes I want to give my brain to science after my death because it's fucking sick since my birth. Overthinking is pure hell. Difficult to say with words, but feeling like an alien but with a human appearance.
I wish you peace wathever you decide

I've seen u before in my replies. If u ever want someone to call I spend most of my days alone too. I try reaching out to ppl but it never ends up with a friendship or anything at all. I feel like serial killers get more love then I do