Discussion Just talking I guess :)

[Coconteppi]

Hey y'all I'm a "long time listener first time caller" type. I understand that to be able to PM for SN sources I gotta chit-chat some. I kinda like the idea of possibly running into someone who thinks like myself yk. But anyway I guess ask away and I'll try to keep up. :)

To get the ball rolling I guess I should say something. But feel free to say whatever you'd like. (Please nothing mean)

Currently, the way I think of my view right now is like. Life went pretty stale since childhood (<8yr old~) Theres only really so much to this world at this point. Not that life is horrible. Just real boring with so much work for things that just don't bring sufficient satisfaction / fulfillment. So, I've kinda decided to just check out a bit earlier than most. Not that life was all that horrible. Life was just a bit worse than nothing.

(From part two)
A big part of my reasoning for having stayed for so long is living for other's meaning/happiness. I try to look at my apathy in a good way through saying that if I it nothing feels different to me then I should help everyone else in whatever makes them feel fulfilled/happy since aplarently it makes life worth living to them. But even helping them is pretty meaningless to me but just makes the most logical sense. But I kinda just decided its time because I don't care enough anymore to carrying out the meaningless tasks anymore and would just rather just see if death has anything to offer bc even if it doesnt at least I can just chill without the negative things in life (i.e. emotions,making others lives worse,pain)

Anyways, I'd love to hear y'alls thoughts on things. :)

(I did not spellcheck any of this. So go easy on me lol)


This is the third time I'm posting this. Pretty neat right, got a lil thing going lol. Sorry, if I'm spamming please let me know :P

 

[OmoriFan]

To be honest i am quite interested in your reason for suicide, it certainly isnt something common. But I understand where youre coming from although i dont think the same. If you really dont care about life anymore then its your decision but I would maybe try to find something interesting enough to live for. Either way do something that you know you wont regret. :)

 

[Coconteppi]

To be honest i am quite interested in your reason for suicide, it certainly isnt something common. But I understand where youre coming from although i dont think the same. If you really dont care about life anymore then its your decision but I would maybe try to find something interesting enough to live for. Either way do something that you know you wont regret. :)

I just don't feel there is any reason/fulfillment gained from things I do in life. I don't have any desire in continuing simply because I don't feel there is enough personal meaning/value in what I'm doing.
(Took a break tyingn and got stoned :P)
I do face deppression pretty often but it's pretty tame recently in comparison to others and my own lowest lows. My suicidal desires are pretty consistent and have just grown over time seperately from my depression.
I would say I am and have been fulfilled/content in life. I have no issue with dying because I am satisfied with the life I've lived. I just want to get out now because so many more years of dealing with the negative parts of life, while also not feeling enough true purpose/meaning behind my actions to outweigh them. Life just doesn't have anything in it I care to pursue and would just rather check out of here since I'm already satisfied with a fraction of the years in my life so far. Sorry, does this make sense?

And thank you, I can see what life has to offer, and how I believe to best live it in my personally purest core philosophy. And I don't see anything that I think I care to do before I die. I have interests in things but this does not exactly relate to the fact that I am satisfied with life and leaving.

Thank you for the interest in my post! Sorry if this didn't make much sense! Feel free to ask about anything you'd like to elaborate on! :)

 

[Mizu]

A big part of my reasoning for having stayed for so long is living for other's meaning/happiness. I try to look at my apathy in a good way through saying that if I it nothing feels different to me then I should help everyone else in whatever makes them feel fulfilled/happy since aplarently it makes life worth living to them. But even helping them is pretty meaningless to me but just makes the most logical sense.

This is pretty much where i was for about a year now, its hard to even have that mindset cause when you start living for the sake of someone else you start feeling really worthless to yourself, least I did

 

[Coconteppi]

This is pretty much where i was for about a year now, its hard to even have that mindset cause when you start living for the sake of someone else you start feeling really worthless to yourself, least I did

I'm really sorry to hear that it caused you to feel that way. I kinda maintained a feeling of being a good moral person through my actions of living for someone else since I myself don't have anything I care to live for. I've never really felt worthless because I knew I had worth to others through helping them do the things that give them meaning in their lives. So they can feel their most satisfied in life.
You said "did" were you able to overcome your feeling of worthlessness?

 

[OmoriFan]

I just don't feel there is any reason/fulfillment gained from things I do in life. I don't have any desire in continuing simply because I don't feel there is enough personal meaning/value in what I'm doing.
(Took a break tyingn and got stoned :P)
I do face deppression pretty often but it's pretty tame recently in comparison to others and my own lowest lows. My suicidal desires are pretty consistent and have just grown over time seperately from my depression.
I would say I am and have been fulfilled/content in life. I have no issue with dying because I am satisfied with the life I've lived. I just want to get out now because so many more years of dealing with the negative parts of life, while also not feeling enough true purpose/meaning behind my actions to outweigh them. Life just doesn't have anything in it I care to pursue and would just rather check out of here since I'm already satisfied with a fraction of the years in my life so far. Sorry, does this make sense?

And thank you, I can see what life has to offer, and how I believe to best live it in my personally purest core philosophy. And I don't see anything that I think I care to do before I die. I have interests in things but this does not exactly relate to the fact that I am satisfied with life and leaving.

Thank you for the interest in my post! Sorry if this didn't make much sense! Feel free to ask about anything you'd like to elaborate on! :)

Thank you for explaning further your reason so that I can now understand it more and dont worry your reply makes sense (at least to me) :)

 

[Coconteppi]

Thank you for explaning further your reason so that I can now understand it more and dont worry your reply makes sense (at least to me) :)

Aw thank you, you're awesome! :)

 

[LuvMeMusic]

Currently, the way I think of my view right now is like. Life went pretty stale since childhood (<8yr old~) Theres only really so much to this world at this point. Not that life is horrible. Just real boring with so much work for things that just don't bring sufficient satisfaction / fulfillment. So, I've kinda decided to just check out a bit earlier than most. Not that life was all that horrible. Life was just a bit worse than nothing.

It's pretty much the same for me. There's not much reason to live, and death certainly can't be worse.

A big part of my reasoning for having stayed for so long is living for other's meaning/happiness. I try to look at my apathy in a good way through saying that if I it nothing feels different to me then I should help everyone else in whatever makes them feel fulfilled/happy since aplarently it makes life worth living to them. But even helping them is pretty meaningless to me but just makes the most logical sense. But I kinda just decided its time because I don't care enough anymore to carrying out the meaningless tasks anymore and would just rather just see if death has anything to offer bc even if it doesnt at least I can just chill without the negative things in life (i.e. emotions,making others lives worse,pain)

I suppose living for someone else can be fulfilling to some. I'd say it's pretty nice of you that you stayed that long just for someone else's sake, even though you didn't gain much (or anything) from it. I (I guess you could say sadly) can't relate.

 

[Coconteppi]

It's pretty much the same for me. There's not much reason to live, and death certainly can't be worse.


I suppose living for someone else can be fulfilling to some. I'd say it's pretty nice of you that you stayed that long just for someone else's sake, even though you didn't gain much (or anything) from it. I (I guess you could say sadly) can't relate.

Idk I think death could be anything just as much as it could be nothing. Who knows if its better, worse, or even comparable to life. I don't think I have nearly enough to go off of to see death as anything more than an unknown.
And I'm not sure if I would use the word "fulfilling" as much so as I would "personally most morally logical" when describing my choice to live for others.
It's okay if you can't really relate to it. It's just for me the thing I viewed as having the most benefit (or fulfillment, even if not my own) out of anything I could do. I dont think there's a personal difference between what I chose to do and if I had chosen to CTB instead.
What have you done instead to fill the general apathy void? Did you just chose to repeat the patterns that get you through to the next day? I'd love to hear how your method of dealing with similar feelings differed from my own. :)

 

[LuvMeMusic]

And I'm not sure if I would use the word "fulfilling" as much so as I would "personally most morally logical" when describing my choice to live for others.

Oh no, I mean that it was nice of you to stay even though it wasn't fulfilling for you. Not many would help others for no gain.

What have you done instead to fill the general apathy void? Did you just chose to repeat the patterns that get you through to the next day? I'd love to hear how your method of dealing with similar feelings differed from my own. :)

I just do the same things every day. Nothing I can do could fill the void, so I don't even try.

 

[Mizu]

I'm really sorry to hear that it caused you to feel that way. I kinda maintained a feeling of being a good moral person through my actions of living for someone else since I myself don't have anything I care to live for. I've never really felt worthless because I knew I had worth to others through helping them do the things that give them meaning in their lives. So they can feel their most satisfied in life.
You said "did" were you able to overcome your feeling of worthlessness?

at some point it lessened but it never went away.

 

[Coconteppi]

Oh no, I mean that it was nice of you to stay even though it wasn't fulfilling for you. Not many would help others for no gain.


I just do the same things every day. Nothing I can do could fill the void, so I don't even try.

I guess so. It sucks that some people go out of there way to do the opposite.

How/what would you decribe "the void" as being like?

at some point it lessened but it never went away.

That really blows. I hope you know you're worth just as much as anyone else.

 

[LuvMeMusic]

How/what would you decribe "the void" as being like?

It's nothing. An absence of everything. Apathy is probably the most fitting term. A lack of motivation, a lack of emotion, a lack of concern.

 

[Coconteppi]

Is there a reason behind your apathy that you know of? Or is it just sort of an accepted way things are?

 

[LuvMeMusic]

Is there a reason behind your apathy that you know of? Or is it just sort of an accepted way things are?

I think it's just the way I am. There isn't anything I can do about it, so I just had to accept it. Maybe some people are just born that way.

 

[Coconteppi]

I think it's just the way I am. There isn't anything I can do about it, so I just had to accept it. Maybe some people are just born that way.

I understand. I do think some people are just born and raised with different views on the world that can cause there to be no meaning in anything to them.