Since I was a teen, maybe even before, I always felt a very deep need to have someone to trust and share my life with. Just one is all I need...
I have autism, border line personality disorder and depression and life costs a lot of pain and mental effort to live. I know that having someone wouldnt solve all my problems, but it would solve THE problem and it would make this shit life worth living.
I do not have hobbies, or like to socialize, or would want to travel or do anything, Im pretty boring... So obviously women dont want anything to do with me. And even if they did, this deep need usually scare them away.
Not having this someone causes me a lot of pain. Its just how borderline works. And this is the main reason Im suicidal. Every day is very painful... And alone is absolutely unbearable... I dont think Ill ever find anybody, its been too many years searching and seeing how it works... I just need one person to love, share and support each other... Its so simple yet so impossible...
I most probably will ctb in a couple of years or maybe even before because every day the chances are smaller and smaller... And all this wait meanwhile costs a ton of pain... And all this pain for, eventually, nothing... I should have ctb a long ago... Im so lonely...
I have autism, border line personality disorder and depression and life costs a lot of pain and mental effort to live. I know that having someone wouldnt solve all my problems, but it would solve THE problem and it would make this shit life worth living.
I do not have hobbies, or like to socialize, or would want to travel or do anything, Im pretty boring... So obviously women dont want anything to do with me. And even if they did, this deep need usually scare them away.
Not having this someone causes me a lot of pain. Its just how borderline works. And this is the main reason Im suicidal. Every day is very painful... And alone is absolutely unbearable... I dont think Ill ever find anybody, its been too many years searching and seeing how it works... I just need one person to love, share and support each other... Its so simple yet so impossible...
I most probably will ctb in a couple of years or maybe even before because every day the chances are smaller and smaller... And all this wait meanwhile costs a ton of pain... And all this pain for, eventually, nothing... I should have ctb a long ago... Im so lonely...
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