Hey, thanks for taking the time to read my story. It'll be long and boring, but I think it's about to come to an end. So atleast there's that. I'm 34, married 8 years, together for 14. No kids. Just myself, my wife and our little dog. I'll start by saying that I know I'm usually the one in the wrong. I have a temper that gets the best of me more often than not. My wife, 31 in 3 days, hates me. We've been together since we were kids basically, and have developed a codependent, crippling relationship. Atleast from my side. We've taken small breaks here and there but nothing of any significance. Just a weekend at a friend or family members house, etc. The last couple of years, we've started traveling a lot. After trying to have a kid for 5 plus years, we were kinda running on auto-pilot. So travelling felt like a long overdue escape from the monotony. So Over the last two years, we've visited 35+ states and travelled over 130,000 road miles. Everything from the redwood forest in California, to Padre Island in Texas, up RT66 to Chicago, all they way to Niagara Falls and all through New England. It was amazing to get to see all of these things with my best friend, but it wasn't as glamorous as the Instagram pics made it seem. We fought alot. Cried. Ran out of money a few times. Cried even more. Eventually, we crawled back to our home town and nestled for a a while. It didn't take long to start feeling a bit stir-crazy though. So comfort turned to complacency. And complacency turned to resentment. We'll stop there, put a pin in it.
Now, My wife is depressed and unhappy. A few years ago she met a guy through online video games and she ended up eventually calling him the "love of her life"…their thing only lasted just a few weeks but made a huge impact on both of us. I thought I could forgive her, I can't. She says she's moved on and it was a huge mistake, she hasn't and it wasn't. I haven't cheated on my wife, I've had thoughts of course but never pursued anything. STOP.
Back to the story. We left again, just 3 weeks ago. The hum drum life was making me anxious, so I saved up a little. We stored our things again and we left. This time we're using gig apps to help supplement the money. So that's made it a little easier to breath and enjoy ourselves. But 3 weeks in, here we are approaching our 8th anniversary and she's back at her families, we're separated. I lost my cool over something I can't remember and it escalated to the point of saying fuck, she can just go to her dads. Only thing is, it wasn't really that extreme. It's almost like she was ready to leave. So I can't help but think she's talking to someone again. Shes been kinda weird with her phone and made a point of like keeping the screen pointed away from me. I understand everyone deserves privacy, so I try ti avoid looking over her shoulder or anything. I mean, the way I see it is if you wanna cheat then just leave. I've never understood the idea of staying with someone you don't wanna be with. Anyway. She's in control of our communication, I can't help but jump at every opportunity I have to talk to her. So she ignores my messages for hours and I hop on the moment she sends me anything. I feel pathetic, like I'm just some joke to her and her family. I have our dog and she insists that I bring her to her and just be alone. Our dog is all I have, and so think I'm gonna go ahead and take her to my wife. After that, I don't really see any point. I'm in my truck alone, with no where to go and everyone I can think to call I haven't spoken to in years. I have no friends, family is estranged. I think I'm ready to smash this truck into a wall and be done.
Now, My wife is depressed and unhappy. A few years ago she met a guy through online video games and she ended up eventually calling him the "love of her life"…their thing only lasted just a few weeks but made a huge impact on both of us. I thought I could forgive her, I can't. She says she's moved on and it was a huge mistake, she hasn't and it wasn't. I haven't cheated on my wife, I've had thoughts of course but never pursued anything. STOP.
Back to the story. We left again, just 3 weeks ago. The hum drum life was making me anxious, so I saved up a little. We stored our things again and we left. This time we're using gig apps to help supplement the money. So that's made it a little easier to breath and enjoy ourselves. But 3 weeks in, here we are approaching our 8th anniversary and she's back at her families, we're separated. I lost my cool over something I can't remember and it escalated to the point of saying fuck, she can just go to her dads. Only thing is, it wasn't really that extreme. It's almost like she was ready to leave. So I can't help but think she's talking to someone again. Shes been kinda weird with her phone and made a point of like keeping the screen pointed away from me. I understand everyone deserves privacy, so I try ti avoid looking over her shoulder or anything. I mean, the way I see it is if you wanna cheat then just leave. I've never understood the idea of staying with someone you don't wanna be with. Anyway. She's in control of our communication, I can't help but jump at every opportunity I have to talk to her. So she ignores my messages for hours and I hop on the moment she sends me anything. I feel pathetic, like I'm just some joke to her and her family. I have our dog and she insists that I bring her to her and just be alone. Our dog is all I have, and so think I'm gonna go ahead and take her to my wife. After that, I don't really see any point. I'm in my truck alone, with no where to go and everyone I can think to call I haven't spoken to in years. I have no friends, family is estranged. I think I'm ready to smash this truck into a wall and be done.
