Just can't

[Leiden]

I can't do this anymore. I just can not do this anymore. All I do is suffer from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. I wake up every single day having a panic attack and I suffer with all the different things that I go through all day long, every single day. There's no break. It's unbearable. It's so incredibly UNBEARABLE!! I don't know how to keep going through this horrific suffering that I go through. There's no way out of this, there's no recovery for my situation and even if there was eventually I would suffer anyway. The second we are born we are deteriorating. There's no way out of this hell. At this point it's so, so, so bad that I would settle for things getting better just to be able to fkn have one ounce of joy or not spend every waking hour suffering so bad. It's absolute TORTURE!!! I would take my old life any day over this suffering. At least I was more ignorant to all the suffering that people can go through and had less issues. I could smile, I could enjoy something. The only thing I want is to die but I can't because there's NO way out, thats been taken from us and I don't know what's on the other side. My life is cursed and just gets worse and worse and worse. It NEVER gets better, it only EVER gets worse. Why am I so cursed and others live so weightless and free out in the world. I can't bare any second of the day. I can't bare this anymore yet I'm stuck in an absolute terrifying hell every waking moment. People who want to live die, people who want to die, endlessly live. It's not fair.

 

[iloverachel]

Sounds so horrible what you are going through, I am so sorry my friend.
I hope you find relief from your pain and feel better soon

 

[FuneralCry]

It's truly so hellish how people suffer so much with no painless way to just reliably die in peace, I really wish that painless methods are accessible, it'd prevent so much suffering and torture, it must be really horrific what you go through. But anyway best wishes.

 

[keg-ireland]

I can't do this anymore. I just can not do this anymore. All I do is suffer from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. I wake up every single day having a panic attack and I suffer with all the different things that I go through all day long, every single day. There's no break. It's unbearable. It's so incredibly UNBEARABLE!! I don't know how to keep going through this horrific suffering that I go through. There's no way out of this, there's no recovery for my situation and even if there was eventually I would suffer anyway. The second we are born we are deteriorating. There's no way out of this hell. At this point it's so, so, so bad that I would settle for things getting better just to be able to fkn have one ounce of joy or not spend every waking hour suffering so bad. It's absolute TORTURE!!! I would take my old life any day over this suffering. At least I was more ignorant to all the suffering that people can go through and had less issues. I could smile, I could enjoy something. The only thing I want is to die but I can't because there's NO way out, thats been taken from us and I don't know what's on the other side. My life is cursed and just gets worse and worse and worse. It NEVER gets better, it only EVER gets worse. Why am I so cursed and others live so weightless and free out in the world. I can't bare any second of the day. I can't bare this anymore yet I'm stuck in an absolute terrifying hell every waking moment. People who want to live die, people who want to die, endlessly live. It's not fair.

Totally relate to your experiences and am sorry you are going through the same as me. I'm tired everyday and the crippling symptoms of depression, anxiety, chronic agitation...the list goes on.

I have everything setup for full suspension hanging but haven't the guts to do it.

Wish you well.

 

[Leiden]

@keg-ireland
Thank you and I wish the same to you. Full suspension sounds terrifying and I can see how you would be hesitant. It's truly a frightening thought.
Like @FuneralCry said, its hellish that there isn't a painless, reliable way out. It's so unfair how people have to resort to the ways that they do.

Sounds so horrible what you are going through, I am so sorry my friend.
I hope you find relief from your pain and feel better soon

Thank you and I wish the same for you

 

[Username1359751]

I can't do this anymore. I just can not do this anymore. All I do is suffer from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. I wake up every single day having a panic attack and I suffer with all the different things that I go through all day long, every single day. There's no break. It's unbearable. It's so incredibly UNBEARABLE!! I don't know how to keep going through this horrific suffering that I go through. There's no way out of this, there's no recovery for my situation and even if there was eventually I would suffer anyway. The second we are born we are deteriorating. There's no way out of this hell. At this point it's so, so, so bad that I would settle for things getting better just to be able to fkn have one ounce of joy or not spend every waking hour suffering so bad. It's absolute TORTURE!!! I would take my old life any day over this suffering. At least I was more ignorant to all the suffering that people can go through and had less issues. I could smile, I could enjoy something. The only thing I want is to die but I can't because there's NO way out, thats been taken from us and I don't know what's on the other side. My life is cursed and just gets worse and worse and worse. It NEVER gets better, it only EVER gets worse. Why am I so cursed and others live so weightless and free out in the world. I can't bare any second of the day. I can't bare this anymore yet I'm stuck in an absolute terrifying hell every waking moment. People who want to live die, people who want to die, endlessly live. It's not fair.

Halleluyer!