Venting just can't understand myself

[mmoq13]

i have been lost in a limbo for years now can't move myself to care about anything, don't want to live but have no willingness to end it myself, no friends, estranged from my family, i feel lonely thu i still live with my family, failed college got into a scam college instead even thu i know it's a scam college just so i don't argue with my family, i am indebted to them and would never pay them back because i am too of fuck up, i have been a freak all my life too weird and dumb for every social circle i have been in or around, i suspect my brain injury when i was 3 year old (or 2 year old, just don't remember exactly when it happened now) has hand in my irritability, my Underdeveloped language skills and also maybe my mood swings, my lack of motivation, my lack of focus, i constantly failed at math no matter how much time i put in it, i lost any will to try anything, don't have money for N, too afraid to be outside so can't hang myself somewhere outside, i just want to die alone away from everyone

 

[Doombox]

Traumatic brain injury can have long-term effects like you describe. It sounds awful.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really awful and tiring feeling trapped in that situation, I hate how in this world there isn't the option to just easily free ourselves from all the suffering, it's certainly understandable just wishing to be gone.