Isolation really does fuck with your head permeantly, huh

[miles-away]

Just kind of thinking how I was isolated from 12-18 from homeschooling. And the agoraphobia I got from that led me to being a NEET for four years afterwards. I've really only been in society for two years now and I'm woefully unprepared for it. It's crazy seeing people my age, 23 going on 24, having graduated college and starting their careers. Some getting married. I feel like mentally I'm 16. I still feel like an alien wearing a terrible human skin suit. I still feel the urge to isolate.

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic since I just forced myself to cut off my closest friend I was codependent on. But yeah, I just don't think I'll truly recover. I'm so shy its offputting and mentally, I'm behind everyone else. I'm not smart from a lack of education. My alienation makes me unjustly bitter towards the world. I hate myself.

 

[kunikuzushi]

no one understands how badly isolation destroys you unless they've been through it themselves. I've been a NEET for 8 years, and barely left my home for 7 of those years. only the past year I've finally been able to go out, and I'm just too fucked up to re enter society.

no i don't think you're being dramatic at all. I'm sorry you had to go through the isolation and now end up feeling like this. i get it. it's truly painful and feels hopeless not being able to be "normal."

 

[Sammyweevil]

It's so bad. I've spent the last few months trying to open up more aend be more social, and It's so obvious how abnormal I am. It's hard to talk to people and I keep getting called crazy by people I meet. It feels so impossible to fit in especially with each new mental health diagnosis I get ...
I want to believe it's possible but it's so hard...

 

[LakeMungoGirl]

I genuinely don't even feel human anymore

 

[lonely_potato]

I'm sorry you've had to deal with the pain of isolation as well. The longer it lasts, the more I feel like I'm going crazy. But at the same time I guess I've kind of gotten used to it.

 

[darksoul999]

I am in the same shoes basically.

Did not know there was a name "agoraphobia" for this.

Social interactions, being in spaces with tons of people, & communicating to others is really difficult for me.

I rather be alone. BUT, the isolation is a double edged sword.

I too feel trapped in a body, like a wet suit i just want to take off.

its exhausting.

wishing you the best :)

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

Just kind of thinking how I was isolated from 12-18 from homeschooling. And the agoraphobia I got from that led me to being a NEET for four years afterwards. I've really only been in society for two years now and I'm woefully unprepared for it. It's crazy seeing people my age, 23 going on 24, having graduated college and starting their careers. Some getting married. I feel like mentally I'm 16. I still feel like an alien wearing a terrible human skin suit. I still feel the urge to isolate.

I'm 34 now and in the same shoes, tho not from homeschooling, just general social isolation and my inability to find (sexual) partners. It's been like this ever since covid first hit, I never really came back from that.

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic since I just forced myself to cut off my closest friend I was codependent on. But yeah, I just don't think I'll truly recover. I'm so shy its offputting and mentally, I'm behind everyone else. I'm not smart from a lack of education. My alienation makes me unjustly bitter towards the world. I hate myself.

No, you're not. It kills you slowly from inside to the point where nothing makes sense anymore, nothing is fun anymore, no energy is even left to do anything anymore. Im basically just typing here to not do nothing and feel this dreadful existence even more.

I genuinely don't even feel human anymore

Me neither. Just an empty shell that has to continue existing in this body damned to eternal suffering from that same existence. I really just want things to end, fall asleep and never wake up again, but without dreaming the crap I usually dream of.