Isolation really does fuck with your head permeantly, huh

[miles-away]

Just kind of thinking how I was isolated from 12-18 from homeschooling. And the agoraphobia I got from that led me to being a NEET for four years afterwards. I've really only been in society for two years now and I'm woefully unprepared for it. It's crazy seeing people my age, 23 going on 24, having graduated college and starting their careers. Some getting married. I feel like mentally I'm 16. I still feel like an alien wearing a terrible human skin suit. I still feel the urge to isolate.

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic since I just forced myself to cut off my closest friend I was codependent on. But yeah, I just don't think I'll truly recover. I'm so shy its offputting and mentally, I'm behind everyone else. I'm not smart from a lack of education. My alienation makes me unjustly bitter towards the world. I hate myself.

 

[kunikuzushi]

no one understands how badly isolation destroys you unless they've been through it themselves. I've been a NEET for 8 years, and barely left my home for 7 of those years. only the past year I've finally been able to go out, and I'm just too fucked up to re enter society.

no i don't think you're being dramatic at all. I'm sorry you had to go through the isolation and now end up feeling like this. i get it. it's truly painful and feels hopeless not being able to be "normal."

 

[Sammyweevil]

It's so bad. I've spent the last few months trying to open up more aend be more social, and It's so obvious how abnormal I am. It's hard to talk to people and I keep getting called crazy by people I meet. It feels so impossible to fit in especially with each new mental health diagnosis I get ...
I want to believe it's possible but it's so hard...

 

[LakeMungoGirl]

I genuinely don't even feel human anymore