Just called up a CTB hotline, the service was ridiculous!

[painoflife]

It is a horrible feeling when you reach out and it doesn't help at all. It can make things worse as it seems like people don't listen or care what you actually say.
But I also don't know what I would expect them to say to change your mind. They are so limited on their script that its tough for them to really help people and they just signpost to other agencies.

 

[neverever]

As you probably can imagine, CTB hotlines and NHS suck.
However, this morning I felt like giving these hotlines a shot.
Here's the questions they made me and my anwers:

-Hi, my name is Fernando. What's your name and WhAts YoUr ReAsOn fOr CaLliNg?

-Hi. I'm Matt. I'm calling because I'm planning to CTB next year.

-I see. Do you have any kind of weapon which could hurt you right now?

-Nope. As I said, I plan to kill myself next year.

-Oh I understand. Well, you know that's not a good idea right?

-Why isn't it so?

-Because all is life is precious!

-Sorry but I don't see it that way.

-May I ask how old you are?

-32, and still counting.

-You're so young! Do you realize what I bright future you could have if you decide to keep on living?

-I kinda do, but depression, bipolarity and overweight turned me into a suicidal NEET.

-What's a NEET? (I laughed my ass off here)

-Haha well, it's person who neither studies nor works.

-I see. Do you take any medicines to deal with your mental issues?

-I do but.. they don't work. I feel as suicidal as usual. I even see a psychologist once a week but I find each session really pointless.

-I see, Matt. Well, I think you should talk to the professionals about this and get some new medicine. I'm sure you can find happiness and enjoy life.

-Nah, I don't believe that.

-Matt, you're not going to hurt yourself now right?

-Are you listening to me? I said I'm CTB next year. Damn, this service is so bad! Bye!

-Hey Matt, wait...!

*i hang up the phone*


And that was basically it. As I suspected, their service sucks and there's no way they can change my mind.

What are your thoughts on this? I hope this "material" has helped you to know more about these pointless conversations

I called one of these services last week. The answerer sounded severely distracted, as though she may have been multitasking with a task on her computer.

I said that I want to kill myself because of xyz, and she answered that I need to build a life beyond xyz.

I said that I've already exerted all effort that I have to build a life worth living, and she said, "Well, you have to keep going."

She asked whether I have a plan to CTB, I said yes, and she said, "I'm getting another call, so I have to go, but I do want to talk about this."

I asked whether she planned to call back, and there was silence.

 

[NodusTollens]

I called one of these services last week. The answerer sounded severely distracted, as though she may have been multitasking with a task on her computer.

I said that I want to kill myself because of xyz, and she answered that I need to build a life beyond xyz.

I said that I've already exerted all effort that I have to build a life worth living, and she said, "Well, you have to keep going."

She asked whether I have a plan to CTB, I said yes, and she said, "I'm getting another call, so I have to go, but I do want to talk about this."

I asked whether she planned to call back, and there was silence.

Ugh, that person was definitely not good at their job.

In case you were wondering, they may have to write notes on the call. Responders document the reason for the call, what you talked about (no details: names, places) & what they said/did to support you.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

LOL that's so crappy. Someone really should call these people and make Oblivion NPC style videos from them.

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh I remember these days! I was really desperate and sought help only to find myself more lost than before

 

[loopylou]

I would hate to work for them. I can imagine there's not a lot they are allowed to say ? Say the wrong thing get blamed for a suicide. All scripted , not allowed to deviate from that.

 

[Meditation guide]

As you probably can imagine, CTB hotlines and NHS suck.
However, this morning I felt like giving these hotlines a shot.
Here's the questions they made me and my anwers:

-Hi, my name is Fernando. What's your name and WhAts YoUr ReAsOn fOr CaLliNg?

-Hi. I'm Matt. I'm calling because I'm planning to CTB next year.

-I see. Do you have any kind of weapon which could hurt you right now?

-Nope. As I said, I plan to kill myself next year.

-Oh I understand. Well, you know that's not a good idea right?

-Why isn't it so?

-Because all is life is precious!

-Sorry but I don't see it that way.

-May I ask how old you are?

-32, and still counting.

-You're so young! Do you realize what I bright future you could have if you decide to keep on living?

-I kinda do, but depression, bipolarity and overweight turned me into a suicidal NEET.

-What's a NEET? (I laughed my ass off here)

-Haha well, it's person who neither studies nor works.

-I see. Do you take any medicines to deal with your mental issues?

-I do but.. they don't work. I feel as suicidal as usual. I even see a psychologist once a week but I find each session really pointless.

-I see, Matt. Well, I think you should talk to the professionals about this and get some new medicine. I'm sure you can find happiness and enjoy life.

-Nah, I don't believe that.

-Matt, you're not going to hurt yourself now right?

-Are you listening to me? I said I'm CTB next year. Damn, this service is so bad! Bye!

-Hey Matt, wait...!

*i hang up the phone*


And that was basically it. As I suspected, their service sucks and there's no way they can change my mind.

What are your thoughts on this? I hope this "material" has helped you to know more about these pointless conversations

When you hear "all life is precious" you know it's a waste of time.

 

[WornOutLife]

When you hear "all life is precious" you know it's a waste of time.

haha hell yeah! I laughed my ass off when "Fernando" said that.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

WhAts YoUr ReAsOn fOr CaLliNg?

The spongebob meme-text will always make me laugh.

 

[Symbiote]

haha hell yeah! I laughed my ass off when "Fernando" said that.

And that's when you say, "Was Hitler's life precious too?"

I realized that a lot of the volunteers work the phone lines with good intentions, but they're not allowed to really open up and say what really needs to be said because upper management doesn't want to deviate from the script. The script that was laid out by "mental health professionals" who believe this is what works. And that's why mental health sucks.

 

[WornOutLife]

And that's when you say, "Was Hitler's life precious too?"

I realized that a lot of the volunteers work the phone lines with good intentions, but they're not allowed to really open up and say what really needs to be said because upper management doesn't want to deviate from the script. The script that was laid out by "mental health professionals" who believe this is what works. And that's why mental health sucks.

You made me lmfao with Hitler .

You're right. The script is the problem here, not these underpaid people.
Also, as you said, this is why mental health in general sucks! You gotta meet my ex therapist. She's RIDICULOUS! The only questions she asks are: "How are you today?" and "What will you do tomorrow/this week?" That's it. Time to pay her.

I'm glad I'm free of her. I'm only seeing a new psych now and he seems to be a good professional.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

! The only questions she asks are: "How are you today?" and "What will you do tomorrow/this week?" That's it. Time to pay her.

Get these idiots to change professions. I hate the rapists.

 

[WornOutLife]

Get these idiots to change professions. I hate the rapists.

The worst thing is that they earn LOTS of money because they have MAAAANY patients! I wonder if they actually help some of them lol

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

The worst thing is that they earn LOTS of money because they have MAAAANY patients! I wonder if they actually help some of them lol

They need to lose limbs in the video game call of duty: black ops 2

 

[eyes0nfire]

As you probably can imagine, CTB hotlines and NHS suck.
However, this morning I felt like giving these hotlines a shot.
Here's the questions they made me and my anwers:

-Hi, my name is Fernando. What's your name and WhAts YoUr ReAsOn fOr CaLliNg?

-Hi. I'm Matt. I'm calling because I'm planning to CTB next year.

-I see. Do you have any kind of weapon which could hurt you right now?

-Nope. As I said, I plan to kill myself next year.

-Oh I understand. Well, you know that's not a good idea right?

-Why isn't it so?

-Because all is life is precious!

-Sorry but I don't see it that way.

-May I ask how old you are?

-32, and still counting.

-You're so young! Do you realize what I bright future you could have if you decide to keep on living?

-I kinda do, but depression, bipolarity and overweight turned me into a suicidal NEET.

-What's a NEET? (I laughed my ass off here)

-Haha well, it's person who neither studies nor works.

-I see. Do you take any medicines to deal with your mental issues?

-I do but.. they don't work. I feel as suicidal as usual. I even see a psychologist once a week but I find each session really pointless.

-I see, Matt. Well, I think you should talk to the professionals about this and get some new medicine. I'm sure you can find happiness and enjoy life.

-Nah, I don't believe that.

-Matt, you're not going to hurt yourself now right?

-Are you listening to me? I said I'm CTB next year. Damn, this service is so bad! Bye!

-Hey Matt, wait...!

*i hang up the phone*


And that was basically it. As I suspected, their service sucks and there's no way they can change my mind.

What are your thoughts on this? I hope this "material" has helped you to know more about these pointless conversations

Can I ask what your expectation was when calling? I've used these too and never found them particularly helpful but they are just people, trying their best on the other end of the phone. I try and rationalise that as I have felt this way for years a phone call won't make it magically go away, and that is not the fault of the person on the other end

 

[WornOutLife]

Can I ask what your expectation was when calling? I've used these too and never found them particularly helpful but they are just people, trying their best on the other end of the phone. I try and rationalise that as I have felt this way for years a phone call won't make it magically go away, and that is not the fault of the person on the other end

I was very depressed and wanted to see "how helpful" these hotlines were.
I thought that I might be given some kind of advice I had never heard before because they're professionals. "Maybe they are better than therapy and my shrink. ", I thought.

Unfortunately, my expectations were too high and I just received some "follow-the-script" answers.

I just wanted to find people like here on SS, who understand suicide and won't say something like "Don't ctb. Life is precious. "

 

[London2021]

This thread is extremely interesting to me and reflects the dialogue I seem to be constantly having with friends amd colleagues currently regarding the need for open dialogue about suicide as a stand alone topic without the 'prevention' element being rammed down peoples throats or resorting to unhelpful scripts that go nowhere. And of the benefit of forums such as this to relieve compounding anxiety regarding the topic.
Prior to my own recent mental decline and ideation I worked for many years as a triage specialist in MH and Addictions and was often the 1st contact for people experiencing distress and/or suicidal ideation.
I loved my job and loved being, I believed, an important part of that persons experience.
The majority of people who made contact with the services I worked for were looking for reassurance that there was some relief from their current distress.
While I wasnt subject to using a script there are questions that need to be asked to both validate the callers intentions and to cover the organisations arse in order for it to continue to be able to provide a service at all.
I was a professional and highly trained with more than a decade of experience in such roles but these calls were not my primary purpose in the organisation. I was not a volunteer.
It is important to remember that most people answering helplines are there with good intentions but are hampered by scripts and legalities.
It can be a difficult and frightening job at times because there are so many unknowns in dealing with (most often) distress and compounding factors.
So my heart goes out to most who 'try' to make a 'difference' in the experience of those who call a helpline.
Is it good enough ... NO ... but this is not the volunteer or the helplines fault and comes back to governments and nations becoming brave enough to speak out loud about a topic which is difficult for both those who are suicidal (either reactively in the moment or more intentionally as part of an end to life plan) and those who are trying to provide assistance.
Until society starts an open fearless and non biased dialogue about suicide then we will continue to have to work with services that do the best they can with the little scope they have.

I suppose what I am trying to get at is that this is a complex issue and therefore there are no simple 'one size fits all' solutions but I do believe most organisations/helplines are doing the best they know how under the constraints that they have while under resourced. While members of this particular community may not experience much benefit from their existence other communities may ... and currently, sadly, it is all there is for many.

The next question to ask of course is what do I want and expect from a helpline conversation? And how do I educate a system that is or has failed me?

I am always an advocate of 'interviewing' those providing any mental health service as my experience both professionally and personally is that levels of competence vary greatly and it is MY life on which I am the expert. I do understand that this is not easy to do however and can be a confronting experience from both sides but what else can I do? And if I am doing at least that then I am taking some control of my life when so much is out of my control.

'It is always with the best intentions that the worst work is done'
- Oscar Wilde

Hmmm..going to address some of this , in particular NHS crisis team lines. Firstly, they are professionals there out of choice, regulated by a professional register with a statutory duty of care and very often with the individuals crisis plan accessible in front of their eyes.

And their ONLY role is to support sympathetically And compassionately with those who make contact and to try find a plan so the person can be safe for a while longer. So NOT volunteers .

And what's the most talked about problem amongst service users and pts, carers, first responders and coroners? Crisis line professionals telling callers desperate to stay alive that ' you have capacity so it is your responsibility to decide to kill yourself or not - why you calling us.' Alongside ' It's up to you if you want to take an overdose/ hang yourself/ jump off a bridge ' and slamming the phone down.

And calling the police after the above so criminalizing health, driving people to at best go missing from home so scared are they this happens to assisting suicide. Which is a criminal offence in this country but hey, OK for a MH professional to encourage through words or actions.

Compare this approach with how a rape crisis line works for e.g..when a suicidal victim calls. Explains at start what they can do not list everything they can't do.

Says how long they have and when 10 mins left tells callers. Go through months of training - something crisis team lines fail to do seemingly.

I dont care if they are scripted and badly funded. These are cruel people whose actions are the normal culture and practice and in breach of almost every part if their respected professional codes of practice.

Volunteer lines are hell of a lot more supportive on the whole than those provided by the very health service whose ONLY role is to support ppl in a MH crisis.

 

[Unicorns]

I rang the crisis team the other day when I was feeling suicidal. I got told to go away and do deep breathing exercises. Like that's gonna solve all my problems. I came on here and got more help and yet some people criticise sites like these.

 

[WornOutLife]

I rang the crisis team the other day when I was feeling suicidal. I got told to go away and do deep breathing exercises. Like that's gonna solve all my problems. I came on here and got more help and yet some people criticise sites like these.

Deep breathing exercises? lmao that's a new one!!!
I totally agree with you, SS works much better than those crisis teams, therapists, psychiatrists, etc.

 

[HopelessFight]

Looks like this is an old topic, but is this more like a religious service in your country, if they say things like "all life is precious"?

 

[WornOutLife]

Looks like this is an old topic, but is this more like a religious service in your country, if they say things like "all life is precious"?

haha it seems it is. I couldn't believe when he said those words.
I'm never calling again!

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

WhAts YoUr ReAsOn fOr CaLliNg?

You're so young! Do you realize what I bright future you could have if you decide to keep on living?

I'm sure you can find happiness and enjoy life.

 

[Bullit]

I rang the crisis team the other day when I was feeling suicidal. I got told to go away and do deep breathing exercises.

LOL! Maybe you misunderstood? Maybe he said,"Ah get outta here-go do a REBREATHER exercise!

 

[motel rooms]

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[WornOutLife]

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LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't know people had taken pictures of me when "Fernando" told me that stuff!!

(Thank you so much for making me laugh. I really needed it)

 

[diyCTB]

@WornOutLife Are you sure you called the right line? CTB hotline does not exist at this time but I really hope it will when humanity reaches enlightenment.

 

[JipJopMop]

Gosh that sounds totally awful, sorry to hear about your experience

 

[WornOutLife]

@WornOutLife Are you sure you called the right line? CTB hotline does not exist at this time but I really hope it will when humanity reaches enlightenment.

Yes, it's some kind of crisis line here in Argentina and it just sucks!

Gosh that sounds totally awful, sorry to hear about your experience

Yeah, it was terrible! I thought they could really help me but unfortunately, they're just low-paid employees who gotta follow a script.

 

[diyCTB]

Yes, it's some kind of crisis line here in Argentina and it just sucks!

What I meant was hotline that assists you in CTB as opposed to traditional suicide hotline. In a fair, understanding and empathetic world you can pick your phone and schedule your CTB date.

 

[JipJopMop]

What I meant was hotline that assists you in CTB as opposed to traditional suicide hotline. In a fair, understanding and empathetic world you can pick your phone and schedule your CTB date.

I think that would be a dream hotline for a lot of us