Help Just anything will do

[Worsethangarbage]

Hey,
A bit of a background. I have attempted suicide 3 times. I am under constant watch with nothing deadly. I don't even have scissors. Well, I can maybe get them somehow. I am not afraid of anything painful. I just don't want something where I can return from. I have tried partial using a usb cable but that didn't work as expected. It was painful and I chickened out after multiple attempts of failure and pain. I have access to basic household supplies. I also tried tourniquet by wrapping a handkerchief using a spoon. As expected, that didn't work. I just want something to work be it anything as long as there is no way to return or chicken out. I can suffer a painful death if I have to. I just want to die.

 

[worldexploder]

I understand that desperation my friend. The pain that came with my hanging attempt forced my survival instincts to kick in really quick even though I was drunk. I just couldn't do it. When I OD'd on Propranolol I was rescued. If I was left alone it probably wouldn't have worked anyway. Could have damaged my organs.

I noticed that you said you're not afraid of painful methods yet the pain of hanging stopped you from going though with it. The fear of pain is nothing to be ashamed of. Our instincts force us to avoid it. It does suck and it's easy to lose patience when you need and want to CTB yet don't have the tools to provide for a peaceful death.

 

[Worsethangarbage]

I understand that desperation my friend. The pain that came with my hanging attempt forced my survival instincts to kick in really quick even though I was drunk. I just couldn't do it. When I OD'd on Propranolol I was rescued. If I was left alone it probably wouldn't have worked anyway. Could have damaged my organs.

I noticed that you said you're not afraid of painful methods yet the pain of hanging stopped you from going though with it. The fear of pain is nothing to be ashamed of. Our instincts force us to avoid it. It does suck and it's easy to lose patience when you need and want to CTB yet don't have the tools to provide for a peaceful death.

That's why I need a non-voluntary method. If I can't get it, I am afraid I will just end up harming myself beyond repair. I will try the hanging again as a last resort.

 

[dman12009]

Hey,
A bit of a background. I have attempted suicide 3 times. I am under constant watch with nothing deadly. I don't even have scissors. Well, I can maybe get them somehow. I am not afraid of anything painful. I just don't want something where I can return from. I have tried partial using a usb cable but that didn't work as expected. It was painful and I chickened out after multiple attempts of failure and pain. I have access to basic household supplies. I also tried tourniquet by wrapping a handkerchief using a spoon. As expected, that didn't work. I just want something to work be it anything as long as there is no way to return or chicken out. I can suffer a painful death if I have to. I just want to die.

It takes a lot to get past the survival instinct that comes with hanging. I was able to black out once (my belt came loose) but haven't been able to go that far again from the pain