Venting Just another self loathing thread

[foreverandever]

Hi all. I haven't posted a ton on here, but I wanted to vent a bit. Sorry for the hassle, I know it's a pain, so feel free to ignore this.

I don't feel any pleasure with any of my interests anymore. I just don't see the point. Why bother when the world is collapsing, everyone hates me, and happiness, hell contentment, is all a lie? Nobody cares, so why should I? And then I feel guilty for not keeping up with them lol. It's all one stupid, pointless cycle.

The loneliness is killing me. Even when I'm around friends I still feel isolated. No one prioritizes me. Which is a selfish thought. More guilt. None of them would truly miss me. They all have someone else after all. I'm superfluous.

I'm floating through life with nothing to look forward to. This is the biggest factor for me. Even if I get my shit together, there's nothing waiting for me. No home, no wife, no kids, nothing. And, I get it, 'your happiness shouldn't depend on external factors', or whatever. And? I'm just supposed to be content knowing that I'll never be the person I've always wanted to be? Happy knowing that all my effort is pointless? What's the point of living alone, unwanted, unneeded, hated, and spit on?

Sorry, this got longer than I intended. Sorry for the burden. I know I'm probably a broken record too, so sorry for that also. Thanks for reading.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I can definitely say that not everyone hates you because I certainly don't. You haven't given me a good reason to do so yet. The world is collapsing sure, as it should because it's a worthless hellhole we're all trapped in. Some days I wish the whole world would just crash into the sun or something, just to end all the suffering that happens here. Good riddance to it I say, but you aren't a burden. I wanted you to know that.

 

[ipmanwc0]

And, I get it, 'your happiness shouldn't depend on external factors', or whatever.

Who says this? Anyone's happiness absolutely depends on external things. Not even a monk would be happy under many conditions. This is an exaggeration of the correct idea being a lot of your well being should come from working on yourself. That doesn't mean the outside doesn't matter.