I've wanted this for so long.

[fallenleaf]

For most my life, I've wanted to die. People say that things get better, but as the years go by, it only gets worse and worse.

I attempted to take my life a year ago but was unsuccessful, I want to start making plans to do this again but it's going to take a while to get the resources I need. Recently, I've been through a very rough patch and the amount of times I go through these agonizing episodes of panic and sheer terror just shows me that this is how I am.

I'm screwed up, my life is damaged beyond repair. Thinking about ending my life is the only thing that can help calm me.

When I last attempted, I had an actual genuine smile on my face for once, I felt like I was finally going to be free. I was do disappointed when it didn't work out but I think I know where I went wrong.

Right now, I wish to become an active member of the forums to get to know some of you better, as obviously, the average person won't be able to relate to pain and suffering we feel on a near-constant basis.

Sometime soon, hopefully within the next year, I'll finally be able to get it done right.

And then, I can finally be free.

 

[iloverachel]

Welcome to the forum my friend
Sorry to hear of how much you are suffering
I hope you eventually find true peace

 

[fallenleaf]

Welcome to the forum my friend
Sorry to hear of how much you are suffering
I hope you eventually find true peace

Thanks friend

 

[hopeless08]

For most my life, I've wanted to die. People say that things get better, but as the years go by, it only gets worse and worse.

I attempted to take my life a year ago but was unsuccessful, I want to start making plans to do this again but it's going to take a while to get the resources I need. Recently, I've been through a very rough patch and the amount of times I go through these agonizing episodes of panic and sheer terror just shows me that this is how I am.

I'm screwed up, my life is damaged beyond repair. Thinking about ending my life is the only thing that can help calm me.

When I last attempted, I had an actual genuine smile on my face for once, I felt like I was finally going to be free. I was do disappointed when it didn't work out but I think I know where I went wrong.

Right now, I wish to become an active member of the forums to get to know some of you better, as obviously, the average person won't be able to relate to pain and suffering we feel on a near-constant basis.

Sometime soon, hopefully within the next year, I'll finally be able to get it done right.

And then, I can finally be free.

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear the suffering you're going through but you'll find a lot of people on here that are going through similar situations and you'll find support

 

[fallenleaf]

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear the suffering you're going through but you'll find a lot of people on here that are going through similar situations and you'll find support

Thanks friend. Nice to meet you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel relief at the thought of permanently being free from this existence, death truly is the only peace for me, I hope that you eventually find freedom from all the suffering.