I've Finally Made Peace With It

[painofzed]

As the post said I've finally decided to go through with it. When I look at the misery of continuing to exist and weigh it against all the potential benefits for myself and others it just doesn't make sense to stay alive anymore. When I die my all of my student loan debt is going to just be wiped out (in my name only), my wife stands to inherit quite the substantial life insurance policy (suicide clause since I've had the policy more than two years). My wife will easily be able to pay down the debts and be able to buy a house that my kids will finally be able to call their own. I'd like some advice if anyone has it on how/where to leave suicide notes and what kind of logistical things I should include. I had really thought these past couple of weeks that my method was going to be a gun because I really like the idea of an instant death, but the more I think about it, the more I just don't think I can do it. I've decided to go with a charcoal grill in my car for carbon monoxide poisoning, if anyone can give me some tips on this or point me to a link where I can find the info I would greatly appreciate it. Being found won't be an issue I live in a very remote part of the world and I know just where to go to ensure I won't be found for quite some time. I am supposed to go on a business trip tomorrow so leaving the house, being gone, and being out of communication for quite a few hours won't be an issue at all. I think that's about it, if anyone has any questions I'll be happy to answer them today. I would make a follow-up post tomorrow for you all as I'm doing it, but where I'm going to be at there will for sure be no cell service or way to connect to the internet. So if anyone has questions now would be the time. I'll make a farewell post for you all right before I leave for my "business trip" but that's gonna be the best I can do. I'd like to thank everyone on here for being the only people on the planet that understand me and providing some of the only true heart felt comforts I've received during my long arduous battle with mental health. For anyone that cares I'm leaving behind a wife and two daughters and that for damn sure is the hardest part because I love them dearly, but the sad truth is this society has forced my hand and left me with no choice but to take matters into my own hands.