Venting I've been wanting to put into words how far back one incident put me with my depression

[Gstreater]

I've been diagnosed with depression for a bit over a decade now. Back when it was the worst I tried to kill myself but I was a stupid teenager so it didn't work. Now after everything that has happened I realize I've went so far back mentally that I'm back in that place mentally. I'm taking my medicine but at best it makes me feel nothing. I hate how I look, I'm cutting myself and I don't trust therapists again. This time I'm not some stupid teen that didn't know how to figure out how to kill themselves and at this point I'm not scared anymore either. The only thing that's stopping me is that my family is in a tough place financially so I need to support them monetarily. I'm not sure how much I can keep it up though. I feel like I'm only halting the inevitable.