Help Its time to end. (Bad English)

[Mndcntrl]

Hey Guys, Girls and everyone else

Its time. I wanna end it since nearby 15 years and now its finaly time. I just ate a buch of rizin seeds and i hope it will do it work... For the case that it doesnt: Can u guys please tell me (Prefer in german) how exactly the method whit Sadium Nitrit works? Or any other cheap but hopefully garantied poisen? Dont got much money, dont have access to guns or violent police. And... I cant lay down on railrods again. If the train comes another time on the other side, I think i start killing people. Hanging is also no alternative. And i dont have the balls to make the cut whit the razorblade or knive, because i was found one time nearby death and dont wanna live through the aftermath from this again... So please tell me which kind if cheap poison i can get quick and ez access? If not in a store maybe on amazon. Or... If anyone want to do the job for me, if you make it quick and painless we got a deal.

Reasons: Im nearby 27 and wanna die since i was 12. I life a shitty life whit no hope. Family is trash. Im addictet to drugs and videogames. I cant break through the devil circle... I was since i was 9 in therapy or some special homes for stressfull kids and got punched and kicked all the time until i was grown. But still a psychic mess, all the therapy was useless. All i wish since years is my death. And today i broke up whit my gf after over 5 years. Thats the last bad thing i needed to happen. Now i got nothing left to life for. No friends, shitty family and my cat will be gone when she is gone. So fuck this shit, im out.

 

[JOkE2109]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/ This has links to information of many methods including Sodium Nitrite. This isn't my method but from what I've seen on here, the type of methods you're looking for can take lots of time to find a viable source for and isn't sold on Amazon. I wouldn't trust anyone who offers to kill you, you could get scammed.

 

[Mndcntrl]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/ This has links to information of many methods including Sodium Nitrite. This isn't my method but from what I've seen on here, the type of methods you're looking for can take lots of time to find a viable source for and isn't sold on Amazon. I wouldn't trust anyone who offers to kill you, you could get scammed.

Thanks for the link! I will read into it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

There are two German speaking threads:

German/ Deutsch

Hallo an alle .. ich bin mir sicher hier tummeln sich auch recht viele Deutsche … allerdings ist es irgendwie etwas schwer euch hier zu finden … deshalb dachte ich, ich poste hier einfach mal. Vielleicht können wir uns über Methoden austauschen oder uns gegenseitig unterstützen.. auf welche Art...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Der deutsche Thread (German)

Also wie erfragt hier meine Exit Methode, auf die ich endlich u.a. durch dieses Forum finden konnte. Die Methode die ich für mich gefunden habe (Exit Bag mit Stickstoff) eignet sich NICHT, wenn man etwas haben möchte, dass man mal eben so schnell umsetzten kann. Man muss wirklich klar bei...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find freedom from all the suffering.

 

[Mndcntrl]

Short Update: I said my "best" friend goodbye, he called the ambulance and they called the police. Now im against my will in a Hospital even the "Basic Law" said i have free will to die. Well... The docs said i am mentally healthy enough to choose what i want, but judge said no. Now im for at least 24h half fixed on a bed (So i dont can flee...) and then need to lie to a psychological dude that im fine to get out... I hope the Rizin doesnt work in this time, i wanna life my last hours whit my cats on the couch, not fixed on a bed in a Hospital. And the "friend" had become on top of my most hatred list.

To anyone read this: If someone RLY wanna go, let him. You maybe safe his life but he will hate you forever. And you will still lose him. But not as friend...

 

[MadAna]

Short Update: I said my "best" friend goodbye, he called the ambulance and they called the police. Now im against my will in a Hospital even the "Basic Law" said i have free will to die. Well... The docs said i am mentally healthy enough to choose what i want, but judge said no. Now im for at least 24h half fixed on a bed (So i dont can flee...) and then need to lie to a psychological dude that im fine to get out... I hope the Rizin doesnt work in this time, i wanna life my last hours whit my cats on the couch, not fixed on a bed in a Hospital. And the "friend" had become on top of my most hatred list.

To anyone read this: If someone RLY wanna go, let him. You maybe safe his life but he will hate you forever. And you will still lose him. But not as friend...

man hope you'll find freedom form this world... i know its hard... but i hope you'll be free one day... as i hope one day i'll be free too... love you, Ana <3

 

[MadAna]

Hey Guys, Girls and everyone else

Its time. I wanna end it since nearby 15 years and now its finaly time. I just ate a buch of rizin seeds and i hope it will do it work... For the case that it doesnt: Can u guys please tell me (Prefer in german) how exactly the method whit Sadium Nitrit works? Or any other cheap but hopefully garantied poisen? Dont got much money, dont have access to guns or violent police. And... I cant lay down on railrods again. If the train comes another time on the other side, I think i start killing people. Hanging is also no alternative. And i dont have the balls to make the cut whit the razorblade or knive, because i was found one time nearby death and dont wanna live through the aftermath from this again... So please tell me which kind if cheap poison i can get quick and ez access? If not in a store maybe on amazon. Or... If anyone want to do the job for me, if you make it quick and painless we got a deal.

Reasons: Im nearby 27 and wanna die since i was 12. I life a shitty life whit no hope. Family is trash. Im addictet to drugs and videogames. I cant break through the devil circle... I was since i was 9 in therapy or some special homes for stressfull kids and got punched and kicked all the time until i was grown. But still a psychic mess, all the therapy was useless. All i wish since years is my death. And today i broke up whit my gf after over 5 years. Thats the last bad thing i needed to happen. Now i got nothing left to life for. No friends, shitty family and my cat will be gone when she is gone. So fuck this shit, im out.

its like reading the story of my life... i know what youre feeling my dear... and i cant persuade u in doing something u dont want to... i only hope and really really wish one day we'll be at east 1% happy.... for now you have to know i would hug you sooooooo damnnn hard... you need it... and,... especcally, i need it... sorry for my english... im off latley, too much drink and stuff.. hope u understand what im writing..

 

[dolemitedrums]

Short Update: I said my "best" friend goodbye, he called the ambulance and they called the police. Now im against my will in a Hospital even the "Basic Law" said i have free will to die. Well... The docs said i am mentally healthy enough to choose what i want, but judge said no. Now im for at least 24h half fixed on a bed (So i dont can flee...) and then need to lie to a psychological dude that im fine to get out... I hope the Rizin doesnt work in this time, i wanna life my last hours whit my cats on the couch, not fixed on a bed in a Hospital. And the "friend" had become on top of my most hatred list.

To anyone read this: If someone RLY wanna go, let him. You maybe safe his life but he will hate you forever. And you will still lose him. But not as friend...

You shouldn't hate your friend for this. They are doing what they think is right from their perspective and because they want you in their life. It takes effort for them to do what they did. Maybe the relationship won't work great going forward, who knows, but I don't think it should cause hatred. You are extremely frustrated right now and for obvious reasons.

 

[Ampsvx123]

That friend was no friend, but even if he were, u shouldn't have gotten him involved at all, that's a liability for him...

 

[Mndcntrl]

Thanks for all the kind worlds (Especially @MadAna)! Im sadly still allive and in o closed Psychiatrie. I get every few hours my pills then an im braindeas for a while.. Thanks germany. There are hundrets of people who needs and wants help and I block them... Feels greaaaaaaaaat...

As soon as i can get out here i make my next and last try. If i had ate more seeds it would bet safe. That means... The countdoum in the great nothing is thinking, but no one knows when it explodes...

 

[MadAna]

Thanks for all the kind worlds (Especially @MadAna)! Im sadly still allive and in o closed Psychiatrie. I get every few hours my pills then an im braindeas for a while.. Thanks germany. There are hundrets of people who needs and wants help and I block them... Feels greaaaaaaaaat...

As soon as i can get out here i make my next and last try. If i had ate more seeds it would bet safe. That means... The countdoum in the great nothing is thinking, but no one knows when it explodes...

dont torment yourself for being in the way of someone... btw i kind envy you lol i would like someone to give me free pills so im braindead and not thinking for a while.. would be awesome if forever.. but being knocked out by some opium substance or similar is like being dead, in some way living feels less bad ahah so idk at least until u go out of there enjoy the braindeadness for me and dont overthink ahahah

 

[Mndcntrl]

dont torment yourself for being in the way of someone... btw i kind envy you lol i would like someone to give me free pills so im braindead and not thinking for a while.. would be awesome if forever.. but being knocked out by some opium substance or similar is like being dead, in some way living feels less bad ahah so idk at least until u go out of there enjoy the braindeadness for me and dont overthink ahahah

I fell the same in some way, thats why I smoke weed. But... I hate the feelings from the pills. It is not a good "knockout". More like a few hundred Kicks in the balls

 

[MadAna]

I'm with heroine honestly.. I'm practicing with needles.. One-day I'll disappear from this shitty world with the help of that..

I fell the same in some way, thats why I smoke weed. But... I hate the feelings from the pills. It is not a good "knockout". More like a few hundred Kicks in the balls

BTW I love you. I really would like to meet you in real life, face to face and have a good conversation with you..
I would like to have the courge to end it here. But in one way I think I'm destined to big things. On the way I think I'm a loser that can't do anything right.. So idk.. It would be do awesome if I disappeared one day.. Out of the blue... What a fantastic day would be